Welcome b-movie fan. Here is a safe place to indulge in your more unsavory cinematic tastes. You watch them after family members go to bed, your significant other screws up their face in disgust every time you linger over Gymkata. Once, a friend even hit you for renting something really awful. That is all going to change. Here is a website where you can read reviews, talk with other b-movie fans, and glorify the genre. I am Andrew Borntreger, I am with the government, and I am here to help.
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The plot does indeed involve a 2-headed shark that attacks, and what it attacks is a group of college kids filled with so many annoying characters that I wished it was a 12-headed shark, just so the kids would disappear faster than they did.
That would be six times as fast, in case anyone wants to do the math.
Lesson Learned:
- A forty foot-long shark can hide in four feet of water.
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This movie is a rip-off of "Gremlins," but with Harvey Korman. A LOT of Harvey Korman. In fact, there is so much Harvey Korman here that there is very little time for the hungry gremlins.
Lesson Learned:
- In southern California "yard work" means either raking the sand or vacuuming the Astroturf.
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This movie is the best film ever made in BFW (the "W" stands for "Wisconsin"). Unfortunately, it is also the worst film ever made in BFW and should only be watched by those who believe that snow is entertaining. Yes, you get to see Bigfoot, but you will also see a whole lot of snow.
Lesson Learned:
- The phrase "Wardrobe by Kmart" should not appear in a film's credits.
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Where else can you watch a mascara-wearing David Hasselhoff fight stop motion robots with a lightsaber?
- Starcrash
The Ymir eats sulfur and is docile unless poked. It only wants to be left alone, but people and dogs insist on doing the one thing that annoys a Ymir. That is right; they poke it.
- 20 Million Miles to Earth
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| SCREENERS |
Due to the volume of submissions, I am unable to accept screeners for review.
This is a pity, because I have seen a number of hidden gems via screeners. On the other hand, I have also been subjected to true torture by certain sadistic director/producers.
Information about new films can be posted in the Press Releases and News section of the forum. | |
| WEBMASTER'S NOTES |
For best viewing use at least 1024X768 resolution and true color. The site has been tested with Firefox, IE, Mozilla, and Opera.
Due to weird b-movie stuff, this website is intended for teens and older. There are currently ZERO bare breasts on this website.
(Unless a stripper is lying on the server.) | |
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