BADMOVIES.ORG AUDIO PODCAST
" Todd the Convenience Store Clerk
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During this, the pilot broadcast of Badmovies.org radio, I answer a letter from a fictitious listener named Todd. Todd's problem is that he works the night shift in a convenience store and is afraid that some of the "people" visiting the store in the middle of the night are actually monsters or some other such nonsense. My goal is to provide Todd with sound advice, just in case one of the customers turns out to be a vampire, werewolf, or bastard creation of a mad scientist.
I doubt any of my suggestions would actually help Todd, should a werewolf start prowling around or if Dracula stopped by to purchase a tube of Fixodent. Use them at your own risk.
"If they cast a reflection, they're not a vampire. They're just that pale."
"You are...probably not going to survive."
"What you are looking for here is hair...I mean, it looks like they have a toupee glued to their forehead."
"Don't let the werewolf eat canned Hormel chili."
"Once you recognize that you have Frankenstein's Monster in the store, don't start screaming, because we go right back to the smashing."
Notes and Links
I focused on some of the classic movie monsters in this broadcast and all three of the Universal "Legacy" DVD collections are highly recommended for anyone who loves the old Dracula, Wolfman, and Frankenstein films.
Dracula - The Legacy Collection includes the original 1931 "Dracula," "Dracula's Daughter," "Son of Dracula," and "House of Dracula." I love the old vampire flicks and these are perfect examples of classic horror, because the 1930's and 1940's horror movies usually had more of a methodical feel to them than modern films.
Reply #1. Posted on January 01, 2008, 04:35:13 PM by Nick
Hey Andrew, the podcast idea is great. Alright this is a pilot and it's not saying too much about future podcasts but are you always going to answer "fictitious" questions or are you going to answer the questions of real people as well?
Hey Andrew, the podcast idea is great. Alright this is a pilot and it's not saying too much about future podcasts but are you always going to answer "fictitious" questions or are you going to answer the questions of real people as well?
My intent is to also answer real questions in the future. This episode (and the next) just give me a chance to perform a monologue. I'm already working on the third podcast, which is going to be one or two movie reviews.
Reply #3. Posted on January 02, 2008, 02:38:28 AM by Anthony
The entire section about Frankentien's monster had me cracking up. Please keep giving survival tips. I am especially interested in how to survive in a post apocalyptic wasteland. Whatever the subject of your podcasts I will keep listening.
Reply #4. Posted on January 02, 2008, 01:21:17 PM by Jordan
Andrew, that podcast was great! I was cracking up while cleaning up after my Christmas and New Year's Eve guests (yes, I'm still cleaning up after Christmas.... City of Heroes and the Nintendo Wii have both given me a reprieve today ). I have to note that I didn't think your voice would sound like that. I guess I expected you to sound like R. Lee Ermey or something. Hahahaha.
It's great to see that your site is evolving, and that you're finding plenty of new areas to explore Andrew. Keep fighting the good fight my friend!
Reply #5. Posted on January 05, 2008, 09:07:58 PM by Phred22
One item you forgot, Andrew: When vampires and werewolves travel, they tend to wind up in places where written material is available on how to kill them. So Todd should check all the written material in the store, not just the magazines and newspapers but the backs of the cereal boxes as well. Whatever he finds will be 90% guaranteed to be accurate (used to be 100 but the new movies are changing the rules).
One item you forgot, Andrew: When vampires and werewolves travel, they tend to wind up in places where written material is available on how to kill them. So Todd should check all the written material in the store, not just the magazines and newspapers but the backs of the cereal boxes as well. Whatever he finds will be 90% guaranteed to be accurate (used to be 100 but the new movies are changing the rules).
Comic books, too. You know, in all the old films, somebody always had a book about vampires - which is a little weird when you think about it. "We only have ten books in the house, but one of them is some trash about bloodsucking demons that the Lord picked up while on vacation in Europe."
Quote
Andrew, we really enjoyed the program, looking forward to more. What makes the whole thing a surreal experience is that you sound like my son-in-law.
Thanks. I think I'd prefer you as in-laws. My mother-in-law gave us an 8X10 photograph of herself for one Christmas. What I wanted to do with it caused some arguments.
Earth is visited by a GIANT ANTIMATTER SPACE BUZZARD! Gawk at the amazingly bad bird puppet, or chuckle over the silly dialog. This is one of the greatest b-movies ever made.
Lesson Learned:
Osmosis: os·mo·sis (oz-mo'sis, os-) n., 1. When a bird eats something.
). I have to note that I didn't think your voice would sound like that. I guess I expected you to sound like R. Lee Ermey or something. Hahahaha.
