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INVASION OF THE SPACE PREACHERS - 4 Slimes
Unrated
Copyright 1990 Troma Entertainment
Reviewed by Glennman on 19 February 2008

The Characters:  

Green Dot Walter Bennett - A dopey dentist; he's a fairly likable character, once you get past his middle class white-guyness.
Green Dot Rick Lowery - An even dopier and somewhat sleazy accountant who wears a hideous blue jump suit, and Walter's best friend. Also very white. Not pale, white. Ends up falling for the cruise control on Nova's ship (don't ask).
Green Dot Rednecks - Everywhere. In the bar, in the town, even in pickup trucks asking for Grey Poupon.
Green Dot Truman Gator - A shady nerdy redneck businessman who fleeces Walt and Rick into staying at his "rustic mountain chalet."
Green Dot Nova - Alien that Walt and Rick rescue, ends up being a hot blonde chick inside, who comes to Earth to arrest Kritak for killing her brother. Falls for Walt.
Green Dot Johnny Angel - Weird rocker guy who worships Elvis and sunbathes nude with two groupies, Drema and Rhonda.
Green Dot Vic 20 - Shell-shocked militant hippie guy who runs about with a lot of ammo and grenades. Fun-loving psycho.
Green Dot Midget & Old Folks - Two old people who have a midget who thinks he's a child. Or they think the midget's a child. Whatever. Just an unnecessary scene.
Green Dot Reverend Lash - Freaky looking minister who's dynamite with a whip. Actually the alien refugee Kritak, who fled his home planet after murdering someone. Like all preachers and aliens, he seeks to rule the world.
Green Dot Lash's Cronies - Rejects from a Flock of Seagulls. One uses his tongue way too much. Standard sidekicks who can't hit crap with a laser rifle and hiss when about to attack.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

Meet Walt and Rick, two white-collar losers who decide to go on vacation to prove that they're real men. The audience already knows they're not. They rent out Truman Gator's pit of a mountain chalet, but not before encountering the House of Dung (yes, you heard me), rednecks seeking Grey Poupon (and listening to classical music), and an angry bar crowd.

They also encounter the enigmatic Reverend Lash, a peace-loving minister whose radio broadcasts run twenty-four hours a day. Walt soon discovers that the Reverend's broadcasts are hypnotic. Something smells funny in this place, and it's not just the House of Dung.

Along their LOOOONG drive up the mountain, they also encounter an alien spaceship that has crash landed. The alien is lying beside it, injured, and asks them to carry it to the barn to rest. They do, and then continue on to the chalet, which is, of course, a total dump. Back to the alien, whose shell has cracked revealing a naked woman. Of course.

After a restful night's sleep, Walt heads out to paint the landscape, and Rick pees outside, only to meet Johnny Angel and his girls. He tells them about the alien, but when he shows them the crash site, the ship is gone (the huge scrape mark on the ground from the crash is still there, but no one mentions it). He then takes them to the barn, and finds no one there either.

Meanwhile, Walt was painting until shots ring out over his head, and he dives face first onto his palette. He meets Vic, who insists that Walt is a narc, and locks him in the chicken coop at the hippie colony. Rick joins him in the chicken coop after being captured by Vic. They are later released after Vic says their friend told him his mistake. The friend is the alien girl, now clothed.

She is invited to stay with them, as Reverend Lash continues recruiting for his congregation. The midget guy reports to Lash about Nova's arrival, only to have his head blown up as payment. Whatever. Rick and Walt go on survival training with Vic, encountering Johnny Angel and company sunbathing, an anthropological dig site, and the POND!

Meanwhile, Nova is doing background work on Lash and barely escapes. The three of them reunite, only to have Lash pants Rick and Walt (metaphorically, thankfully), and kidnap Nova. Lash has also made plans to broadcast worldwide. He has the entire town under his control by now, except for Rick and Walt. They decide to stop his reign of holy terror.

Walt sneaks into the church and manages to free Nova and save the town from severe head lossage. The Reverend escapes with his flunkies, only to return moments later in alien form, using Rick as a hostage. The ENTIRE town shows up armed, and a standoff ensues. Originally, no one will shoot with Rick as a hostage. That is, until the aliens flip the bird in the general direction of the armed townspeople. The townspeople blast away, obliterating the aliens. Rick is unharmed.

Everyone is friends, and Johnny Angel shows up, and dancing ensues! The end!

I obviously purchased this one on title alone, and it lived up to my expectations. It earned the four slime rating by being so damned entertaining and so odd at the same time. I mean, the House of Dung? A pond full of naked people? The random midget with the old people? The banjo guy? All the redneck jokes? Space preachers? Troma does it like no one else. Thank you, Lloyd Kaufman.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

Green Dot Fat women need a LOT of nitrous oxide.
Green Dot "Rustic" means UGLY.
Green Dot Free isn't always a good deal.
Green Dot Rednecks take dreams seriously. Very seriously.
Green Dot Cover your crotch when approaching a preacher.
Green Dot Aliens learn English from television, and hide hot women inside their shells.
Green Dot Small arms fire can take down a spacecraft.
Green Dot Aliens can also win any drinking contest, and kick redneck ass.
Green Dot Don't leave live bait in your car.
Green Dot America is the land of the free and the home of Donald Trump.
Green Dot Nude sunbathers don't scare easy.
Green Dot Boy scouts = human shields.
Green Dot Don't mess with the rednecks, 'cause they've all got guns.

Stuff To Watch For: 

Green Dot Film quality just degraded. Look! It's SPACE!
Green Dot A few MORE road shots, please.
Green Dot That was the worst John Wayne impression ever.
Green Dot You gave him your credit card?!
Green Dot Ick. Didn't need a slow pan up Rick's body.
Green Dot RANDOM GRATUITOUS ALIEN BLONDE BREAST SHOT!
Green Dot Horror harmonicas?
Green Dot That's a LOT of weed, and a bad Jamaican accent.
Green Dot White...trash...everywhere...
Green Dot Fuzzy wuzzy soap? Ewwww.
Green Dot Sex with the alien. Nice.
Green Dot I HATE RICK! (ugh, pod sex)
Green Dot RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST AN ARCHAEOLOGICAL SITE!
Green Dot Ah, the pond. That's called well-rounded survival training.
Green Dot "Army of Darkness" or "The Day the Earth Stood Still" moment.

Quotes: 

Carol Ann: "You were never in a war!"
Kid: "You mean you're not a war hero?"
Carol Ann: "Don't warp their realities. We need to be honest with our young. They need to know us for what we really are."

Rick: "If this thing doesn't kill us, it might have space herpes or something."

Rick: "Speaking of blow dryers, how's your mom?"

Walt: "To boldly go where no dentist or accountant has gone before."

Walt: "We now return control of your brains."

Johnny Angel: "No sh*t, man. An alien? I think I'm gonna like this cat."

Nova: "You saved my butts last night."

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

FileDialog
Green Music Note invasionpreach1.wav Rick: "I wonder if it's really."
Eric: "Why, you bet it is - 14 varieties of genuine barnyard animal feces."
Eric's Brother: "Just making a few repairs now. Rain plays hell on the place."
Green Music Note invasionpreach2.wav Lash: "And remember: Lash loves you. He really does."
Green Music Note invasionpreach3.wav Rick: "Accosted by rejects from the 'Dukes of Hazzard,' shortchanged by a hillbilly huckster, and now we get to play host to Astro-boy."
Walter: "Not your typical day."
Green Music Note invasionpreach4.wav Rick: "Now, then. Who are you, and what are you doing wearing my clothes?"
Walter: "Be nice, Rick. She saved our butts."
Nova: "It is all right, Walter. I will explain. Call me Nova."
Rick: "Your folks named you after a Chevrolet?"
Nova: "I borrowed your clothes because I grew out of my own."

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 

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 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipinvasionpreach1.mpg - 3.4m
Walter and Nova confront Reverend Lash, but the interstellar criminal has a dirty trick up his sleeve. I think that the heroes should shoot the hostages.

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