Deep Space B-Movie Review

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DEEP SPACE - 2 Slimes

Rated R

Reviewed by James Hepler on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:

McLemore - Charles Napier! Legendary policemen, who is of course a rogue and master monster fighter.
Carla - Inexperienced and easily frightened, has apparently been a McLemore fan for some time.
Captain Robertson - Bo Svenson! While he is a jerk, he still manages to use a large rifle and an ax to fight the monster.
Jerry - McLemore's partner, he doesn't really do a lot except follow McLemore, make comments, and then get slain by a baby monster.
Lady Elaine - Julie Newmar! Psychic who for some reason decides to tell McLemore about the monster.
Bum - Drunk bum who sees the message tube (er, space ship) crash, and is later eaten by the monster in the city (by an amazing coincidence).
Dr. Forsythe - James Booth! Creepy scientist who sends a command via computer (strange, yes) to the monster in order to prevent its destruction. Gets away scot free, apparently.

The Plot:

Deep Space begins as what appears to be a message tube flies across space. But, alas, it is a government craft which for some reason has a giant living rock in it. Needless to say, the rock survives the crash and two teenagers stumble upon it and are devoured. Enter McLemore and tag along partner, Jerry. They snoop about the crash and find two smaller living rocks and steal them for some reason. Why they're even investigating is beyond me, since their boss suspended them.

Anyway, some military guy decides the creature must be destroyed, so creepy scientist Forsythe gives it a command to hide out and kill people. Enter the Alien-ish creature, which emerges from the rock. It easily eliminates the scientist who was trying to figure out what he was made of, and miraculously makes it out of the middle of a police station without being seen. Soon it hides in a warehouse and occasionally eats some poor sap.

For some reason, Julie Newmar calls McLemore and tells him about the creature. She's psychic and picked him to find it for some reason. So he has his living rock drilled into, and a little spider monster comes out and attacks the entomologist. After being tossed in a container with some gases, it expires. At this point, McLemore and Carla realize they should warn Jerry. They blow through traffic to get there, but are too late. Jerry is being eaten by the baby as he arrives, and he eventually smacks it out a window with a baseball bat, killing it.

Now, of course, McLemore must get revenge! He gets what appears to be a SPAS-12, a semi auto, a revolver and a knife. Julie Newmar again tells him where the creature is, they find it, and he goes in to fight it alone. Alas, his shotgun is not very useful against the creature. Luckily, Carla called for backup and comes in to help. They're about to lose, when McLemore's boss shows up and starts blasting away. After he runs empty, an ax and a chainsaw finish it off.

Deep Space is one of the better bad movies I've seen. Its flagrant ripping off of Alien is quite amusing, and it has quite a few great one liners. Charles Napier is perfectly cast as the gruff and tough McLemore. The monster itself, what little we see of it, is quite interesting as well. And, of course, if you manage to see the movie cover and the movie, you'll be amused. The cover is totally unrelated, and the description is an outright lie. It says the monster terrorizes a "small town" (NYC is small!?), and it lays thousands of eggs (a far cry from the reality of 2). I never forgot the movie because of that fact.

Things I Learned From This Movie:

Chainsaws and axes are more effective than bullets against government bio-weapons.
Monsters are easily sensed by psychics.
Scots don't mind people playing bag pipes, ever.
Cars blow up quite easily.
Teenage punks always carry guns and do not hesitate to use them.
Police officers crack jokes in any situation.
Even monsters have to be read their Miranda rights.
Getting bitten in the neck by a baby monster SUCKS.
Bullet proof monsters have easily damaged tentacles.
Monsters will eat anything you put in their mouth.
When tossing vicious monsters aside, be careful where you throw them.
Women carry baseball bats with them at all times late at night.
Gigantic monsters that constantly make distorted growling sounds can easily sneak around out of sight.

Stuff To Watch For:

2 mins - Someone's sending a message tube across space?
4 mins - Ack! Julie Newmar!
8 mins - "Just a kid", the first of a series of clichés. Joy.
10 mins - Great, the "Arch Rival Jerk Commanding Officer" character.
11 mins - Gee, he refused to give his partner a gun, think that'll end up hurting him somehow?
12 mins - Stupid and curious young people, they had to be the first victims of course.
15 mins - Uh-oh, crazy drunk bum who thinks he saw aliens...
16 mins - God damn. What an irritating scream.
17 mins - Bout time she shut up. Geez.
19 mins - Great, the wimpy and inexperienced female police officer (who of course thinks McLemore is the greatest).
22 mins - Considering the fact that the monster is still "dormant" and essentially a very heavy rock with flimsy tentacles, how did it rip up the teenagers so messily?
25 mins - McLemore is trying to look nondescript while holding a two foot living rock...
29 mins - Wow, what a jerk. The evil government scientist ordered Mr. Monster on a murderous rampage.
29 mins - He's dropping hydrochloric acid on police evidence!?
30 mins - Gotta love the "flying across table while breaking glass" done in slow motion.
31 mins - That GIGANTIC and NOISY thing snuck out of a police station? How did it even fit through the door!? It's 4 feet wide with a big belly!
31 mins - Man is torn apart in seconds while examining a living rock found at a brutal double murder. No one entered the room. Hmm. McLemore's partner and the rest of the police force can't figure it out!
37 mins - Mmm... ...old drunk man.
49 mins - Wow. An "Equipping the Bag Pipes" scene stylized a la an "Equipping the guns" type scene.
51 mins - I can't believe the "Bag Pipe trick to get laid" thing actually worked...
54 mins - Kooky entomologist. Here we go..
58 mins - Hah. Nice throw.
60 mins - Wow, that meat loaf looks like it's about two decades old.
61 mins - Poor Jerry.
63 mins - The baby monsters aren't particularly tough, if ugly.
67 mins - Great, there's Julie Newmar again. I wish the monster would chew her up.
70 mins - About time the spook showed up again, to bad he's so worthless.
75 mins - Wow, this is AMAZINGLY like a certain scene in Alien (Looking for a cat, finds it, monster sneaks up behind...).
78 mins - MY GOD! Fog, dripping water, weird lighting. Is this warehouse a portal to the Nostromo?
80 mins - Boy, I guess the monster occasionally spares its victims for no apparent reason.
85 mins - Geez that girl is a klutz.. But with a chainsaw, that's VERY bad.
87 mins - McLemore's boss may be a jerk, but he definitely knows how to fight monsters.
90 mins - What the heck! McLemore didn't thank his boss for showing up and quite possibly saving his and Carla's lives.
Ending Credits - Hey, there's a character in there named Mrs. Ridley! At least they admit their "homage."

Quotes:

McLemore: "So, where are the victims?"
Cop: "The big pieces are over in the body bags."
Jerry: "Are you saying that it's alive?"
Scientist: "In the strictest sense of the word, yes"
McLemore: "Simple! The rock did it, case closed."
Jerry: "Throw this rock in jail!"
McLemore: "Stay here, I'm going to kick some monster ass!"

Audio clips in wav format

SOUNDS

Starving actors speak out

	File	Dialog
	deepspace1.wav	General: "It was supposed to stay in outer space, Forsythe, not come crashing down into God knows what or where!"
	deepspace2.wav	Government Agent: "I'm fully authorized to shoot anything or anybody who appears to be a spy for a foreign government, and right about now you boys are beginning to look a little red."
	deepspace3.wav	This is why I'm buying a set of bagpipes.
	deepspace4.wav	McLemore: "I don't think this thing is from this planet." Scientist: (After a long pause.) "Extraterrestrial?" McLemore: "No, from outer space!"