|Copyright 1998 Calamari Pictures
| Reviewed by Jerome Saincantin
on 21 June 2001
- Finnegan - Treat Williams! The good guy. He's cool incarnated: barely flinching every now and then and even remains icy when kissed by Famke Janssen. What a guy!
- Trillian - Famke Janssen! Finnegan's girl, the only survivor from the Argonautica. Wanted for burglary, picking pockets, and the attempted murder of her former boyfriend. You're in for a treat, Treat.
- Joey Pantucci - Kevin J. O'Connor! Finnegan's mechanic and comic relief sidekick. Joey is a living example of how both bad guys and mother nature hate a loudmouth. Likable though.
- Simon Canton - Anthony Heald! Weak and greedy owner of the Argonautica, plots its plundering and sinking for financial reasons. Completely fictional character - who'd be dishonest enough to do such a thing? Gets mightily blown up, hooray.
- Hanover - Wes Studi. Leader of the mercs group, thus a tough guy with a nasty streak. Gets eaten alive after shooting at Joey instead of shooting himself. Misfires are here to punish the evil ones!
- Captain Atherton - Derrick O'Connor. Captain of the liner; probably the only really straight guy in the cast. Folded in two and eaten like an appetizer.
|On one hand, we've got a luxury liner making its maiden cruise whose passengers include a sexy burglar and a crook. On the other hand, we have a small, very fast ship full of mercenaries and torpedoes, whose crew is asking too few questions. In the middle, a member of the Ottoia family, and no, that's not a drug lord. It's a giant priapulid worm.
Now, here's how it goes: the crook also owns the ship and wants it sunk to get the money from the insurance; the mercs hired the boat and its crew to get them to the ship so they can plunder it and then sink it; the burglar's apparently here for a necklace; and Treat and friends are in for the money. Trillian gets caught and thrown into the cold room, Canton sabotages the ship's computers, Hanover takes over Finnegan's boat, and it's all going according to plan until the Ottoia crashes the party big time.
The fun starts here. The mercs, with Finnegan and Joey in tow, board the ship and find it an empty wreck. They eventually find a few survivors in the secure vault, including Canton and the Captain, but at the same time their second group is attacked. While running for their lives Joey and Finnegan stumble upon Trillian. By the time they finally regroup in a relatively secure area and amiably chat about what exactly happened on this damned ship, half the mercs are dead and they've seen what's left of the passengers.
From then on, it's a simple question of escaping from the bowels of the liner, going back to Finnegan's damaged ship and repairing it, avoiding being eaten by the incredibly nasty, smart, fast, tough and omnipresent worms, and of course anticipating all the double and triple-crossing that such a party can generate. Piece o' cake for a man such as Finnegan (of course)! All this done, the beastie blown up, and the baddies dead, he and his girl reach the providential deserted tropical island and settle in for a happily-ever-after life of sex and coconut-sauce crab.
Or do they...?
|Things I Learned From This Movie:|| |
- ALWAYS ask what the job is...
- Don't use your galley/cold room as a brig; not unless you've got way more appetizers than you need!
- You should always have mechanical backup systems for a computer-controlled ship. Oars, maybe.
- To open an electronic door, just close your eyes and stick a hairpin into the circuits.
- Chinese weaponry is VERY impressive.
- "The Girl from Ipanema" will never again summon the same images for me...
- NEVER, EVER say anything like: "I'm asking you, how could it get worse?" Murphy's listening.
- When you're paired up with an absolute bastard, don't ask what you're gonna feed the beasties to slow them down...
- Creatures living in complete darkness 40,000 feet under the sea need eyes and the ability to roar mightily.
- 9 mins - Mercenary bonding rituals. What high levels of ambient testosterone can do to IQs.
- 21 mins - Things to do when danger is afoot: PANIC! You'll never sit on the toilets again without a slight apprehension...
- 31 mins - RANDOM ACTS OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A CASINO!
- 32 mins - Mercs' reflection time, then more RANDOM ACTS OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A CASINO!
- 41 mins - Best anti-burglar system I've seen...
- 56 mins - The bad guy shows off his knowledge of nasty, brutish, and mostly unheard of sea critters. End of the scientific minute, we go back to the slaughter.
- 72 mins - Remove the pin of Mr. Grenade before you throw him...
- 87 mins - Sometimes it pays that your partner is a poor shot.
- 91 mins - Damage control technology leaves something to be desired in those modern cruise liners.
- 94 mins - RANDOM ACTS OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A FOREST!
- "Thank you, Joey..."
- Finnegan: "Well, I guess we're stuck on this island."
(Big kiss by marauding Famke Janssen.)
Finnegan: "Well I guess we're stuck on this island..."
| ||Audio clips in wav format||SOUNDS||Starving actors speak out|| |
||Hanson: "You're not the least bit curious as to where we are going?" |
Finnegan: "Like the sign says: 'If the cash is there, we do not care.'"
||The group discussing their options.
||Trillian: "This is not good." |
Joey: "Are we talking some kind of mutated sea monsters here?"
Merc (Mason): "Who gives a s**t what they are?"
||Finnegan: "You know how to use that?" |
Trillian: "Yeah, if something comes at me I'll just pull the trigger 'till it goes away."
| ||Click for a larger image||IMAGES||Scenes from the movie|| |
| ||Watch a scene||VIDEO||MPEG video files|| |
|Trillian, Joey, and one of the mercenaries (Mason) were waiting for Finnegan's signal before trying to swim through the flooded passageway, but this sort of changed their minds.
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