| Copyright 1982 Analysis Films.
| Reviewed by Matt Steenburg
on 'a long time ago'|
- Duane Bradley - The well mannered and normal half of the twins. But he is still extremely pissed that they tore his brother off of him without his consent.
- Belial Bradley - Duane's evil twin I guess you could say. Except for the fact that he is a shriveled up psychotic growth that was removed from Duane. He consists of a face with two arms attached where the ears should be. He is telepathically linked to Duane and doesn't like his brother getting any.
- Casey - Nasty, nasty women who I am pretty sure is a hooker. Duane confides in her about his little secret and Belial tries to rape her.
- Sharon - The love interest of Duane. Belial is very jealous of this and gets to rape and kill her. It's Duane's first kiss, and I'm sure it's Belial's too, how romantic.
- Dr. Kutter - She's the one with the scalpel, she cut the twins apart. They are out to kill her because of it. Oh ya, she's actually a veterinarian.
- Dr. Liftbalmer - Another doctor that operated on the twins, he is killed off really quick.
- Dr. Needleman - This doctor is slightly psychotic, he pretty much sweats and makes faces at the camera until he gets killed off.
| When they were born they killed their mother, they started early. They just wanted to be normal children, but it was very, very, hard to fit in considering the fact that one was a hideous growth on the other. Their father realizing this, planned a secret separation of the twins, hiding it from the aunt who was willing to raise them as is. They truly didn't appreciate this, being brothers and all, and decided to exact revenge on the culprits. Starting with the father when they were young, and then in the future taking out each of the doctors one by one. Add in a love interest and a really twisted rape scene and you have basket case. Contrary to other things I have read this is not a horror/comedy movie, it is not intended to be. It may be laughable at some points (the stop motion for instance) but that doesn't make up for the bad production quality of this film. It is not terrible though, I actually enjoyed this film on some twisted level.|
|Things I Learned From This Movie:|| |
- Always assume with noises in the dark that a murderer is after you and you should call the police.
- Large glass windows can be locked to keep bad guys out.
- Drug dealers are worse than car salesmen.
- It's possible to commit suicide by jumping in front of a stopping cab.
- Crazy women hang out in motels.
- People on the go carry clothes in wicker baskets.
- Freaks have no problem with eating tin foil.
- Doctor's offices resemble abandoned buildings in New York, then again I've never been there.
- Typewriter repairmen carry baskets as toolboxes.
- New Yorkers get pissed when people don't see their landmarks.
- Scars resemble aerial photographs of mountains.
- Locks on wicker baskets are absolutely pointless.
- When bitten in the forehead blood will come out of your mouth.
- Small basketball-sized freaks have normal sized hands and arms.
- Gashes will only appear after the initial attack.
- Stop motion was significantly less advanced in the 80's than it was in the 30's.
- Cops find murder humorous.
- Major operations don't hurt.
- Being normal is not desirable.
- Flesh is surprisingly crunchy.
- Pieces left over from operations are taken home and thrown out in the trash.
- Freaks need lovin' too.
- Freaks have a thing for panties.
- New York women are very forgiving.
- Murder brings on urges to have sex.
- I reiterate, extremely forgiving. (He covered her in a sheet and threw her into a wall and she still wants back in.)
- You do not need a lower torso to have sex.
- 4 mins - Hey a ketchup bottle squirting blood onto paper. Impressive effects.
- 6 mins - Is he lying? I don't know he's covering so well. (That's sarcasm if you didn't pick it up.)
- 8 mins - Ouch is she ever nasty, I feel sorry for the guy entering the room with her.
- 10 mins - He's feeding his brother like a seal.
- 21 mins - What kind of scar is that supposed to be?
- 26 mins - This doctor is about to loose his mind and he has no reason to. He doesn't know anything.
- 30 mins - Nice glove, wait a sec, it's supposed to be the freak.
- 32 mins - Attack of the Killer Basketballs. I've never seen a basketball attack a man before. Wait a sec, it's supposed to be the freak.
- 33 mins - Those huge gashes in your face weren't there a moment before.
- 37 mins - Bad, bad, bad, bad, stop motion.
- 47 mins - Why, out of all the places to hide, did he hide in the toilet?
- 63 mins - There is something disturbing about an old women reading a bedtime story to a freak.
- 80 mins - Divert your eyes, bad, bad, bad, bad stop motion again.
- 83 mins - A nude guy running down the streets of New York is something I do not need to see.
- 87 mins - How is he having sex with her? It's not physically possible.
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