|FOR YOUR HEIGHT ONLY
|Copyright 1979 Liliw Productions
| Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'
- Agent 00 - Weng Weng, the highly trained and respected secret agent who is about three feet tall.
- Irma - Secret agent planted within the evil organization, considering she takes strolls in the park with 00 it's not surprising her cover is blown. Shot just before the ending credits roll.
- The Chief - Leading the forces of good, this guy can make anything sound boring.
- Dr. Van Kohler - Scientist who has created a powerful new weapon, the N-Bomb.
- Anna, Lola, and Marilyn - Women that fall in love with 00 and briefly partner with him, some a little more than others.
- The Big Guy - Heavyset guy who owns a terrible red suit. (No, he is definitely not Santa.) Shot by 00.
- Cobra and Mr. Kaiser - Evil gang leaders who hate midgets, shot by 00.
- An Impressive Number of Evil Henchmen - Just as impressive dead.
- Mr. Giant - Leader of the evil organization, about a full head taller than 00, which isn't saying much. Shot by 00.
|Few films will ever come close to this one, it is just plain wrong and the dubbed dialog hardly helps. Who cares though? It's a dubbed midget spy film from the Philippines, for some reason I feel the DVD should glow around the edges and be accompanied by a chorus.
When the brilliant scientist Dr. Kohler is kidnapped by an evil organization the forces of good call on Agent 00 to rescue him. Don't worry that he has to jump kick people in the knees, this guy is lethal. In addition to his hand to hand skills, the agent is an accomplished marksman. One of the amusing things he does is slide across the floor firing his pistol and boy does he slide, one would suspect he is being thrown by a crew member. Tell me that some guy ready to toss Weng Weng along the floor when the director yells, "Action!" is not funny. (I don't believe you.) The pistol/submachine gun he uses is quite a bit of work, especially putting it together. Good thing all the bad guys give him time to assemble it.
For the most part the film is a blur of gunfights, clandestine meetings, a disco club, and simply confusing stuff, but finally Agent 00 locates the secret island Mr. Giant uses for a hideout. Evil gets the short end of the stick as numerous guards with red berets are gunned down by the triumphant good guys. You'll never look at a Bond film the same again.
|Things I Learned From This Movie:|| |
- The Philippines possesses the most powerful weapon known to man.
- Getting kicked in the tailbone will stun you.
- Hotel registers are public information.
- Poison detection devices should be made out of the best conductor available, as in electrical.
- Kindergarten children have the disposable income targeted by drug dealers. (Another example of poor marketing research.)
- Midgets like to hide under tables and smash people's toes.
- Dirty rags make excellent gas masks.
- A midget and a woman in high heels can outrun four healthy men.
- Secret tracking devices should not have blinking lights on them.
- Spraying a room with submachine gun bullets will kill everyone except the good guys.
- 3 mins - Mirror, mirror on the dresser...
- 11 mins - He picks up a watch, but when we cut to him it's magically turned into a pendent.
- 13 mins - Where is Q when you need him to explain gadgets?
- 16 mins - Who in the heck thought this scene up? Hehehehe!
- 36 mins - You know, the floor in this room looks really familiar...
- 44 mins - A normal person would be cramped and uncomfortable inside that box.
- 53 mins - The guard cannot see 00 hiding?
- 59 mins - Let's not do this, please? Whew.
- 62 mins - Is that a reference to "Fantasy Island?"
- 75 mins - Where have I seen that floor before?
- Mr. Kaiser: "The forces of good are our sworn enemy, and I repeat, they must be exterminated. And I mean lethally!"
- Agent 00: "I'm Secret Agent 00."
| ||Audio clips in wav format||SOUNDS||Starving actors speak out|| |
||Lola: "Now I get shot at once or twice a week, and one of these days it's bye bye Lola."
||The Big Guy: "How did that midget find out about our operation? That little Weng could put us out of business!"
||Irma: "Maybe you and I can trace his hideout? You're such a little guy though, very petite, like a potato." |
Agent 00: "Ah, let's go."
||Mr. Kaiser: "Little man has done it to us again, he's made a monkey out of the forces of evil."
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