TROLL
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| Rated PG-13
| | Copyright 1985 Atar Productions Inc.
| | Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'
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- Harry Jr. - Noah Hathaway! (Atreju from "The NeverEnding Story.") Young lad who loves b-movies, but is mortally afraid of his sister.
- Wendy - Harry's sister, she spends most of the film locked in a magical prison while the Troll uses her form as a disguise.
- Eunice St. Clair - June Lockhart! (The younger version is her daughter, Anne Lockhart.) Ancient sorceress and protector of the human realm, turned into a talking tree stump for a while.
- Malcolm - Phil Fondacaro! The only person shorter than Wendy, dying of Leukemia until the Troll transforms him into an elf.
- Harry Sr. and Anne - Michael Moriarty is the father! Harry and Wendy's parents who wish everyone would just act normal.
- Peter - Sonny Bono! A self described swinger who hates children, he's the first one turned into a troll. (One with the woodlands...)
- Bill and Jeanette - She is none other than Julia Louis-Dreyfus! The Troll makes her into a forest nymph and him into something suitably slimy.
- Barry - He used to be a Marine, of course he still wears dark sunglasses, brass belts, and green t-shirts. Turned into a troll.
- The Troll - Magical creature who wishes to repopulate the world with elves, fairies, and such.
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| There are so few opportunities to watch Julie Louis-Dreyfus run around wearing ivy (And only ivy.) that you have to take notice of this film. When the Potters move into a new apartment they never dream what will happen next, their daughter Wendy is soon replaced by a malevolent troll! The capricious creature enjoys confusing Harry or Anne with strange antics, almost to the point of neglecting it's true goal. Slowly and surely it uses a magical ring to turn the other apartments into magical forests, each one populated by the transformed inhabitants. Harry Jr. takes pains to avoid his sister, mainly since she is beating him up, (Really not good for the budding male psyche - getting thrown around by your little sister.) so he befriends Eunice. She gives him a magical spear to defeat the Troll's minions, good thing since she fares poorly against them. In a bizarre twist ending the Troll foils his own plans, plunging the magical spear into the guardian beast to save Wendy's life. There is even one more twist ending involving a police officer and the laundry room, but we won't go into that. A final word in the movie's defense: there are lots of sock puppets, you have to love sock puppets... |
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| Things I Learned From This Movie: | |
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- Sonny Bono looks quite natural in a wife beater t-shirt.
- Modern parents have problems dealing with kids who watch Godzilla movies.
- The late and great Mr. Bono was terrible in bed.
- Loud music only affects plates.
- Midgets don't like chocolate milk.
- Puberty changes the way a boy knocks, in addition to his voice.
- Julia Louis-Dreyfus is really a dryad.
- Old women are confusing. Old women carrying spears are confusing and dangerous.
- Apartment buildings make excellent greenhouses.
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- Opening Credits - Charles Band, with a budget no less, oh hell...
- 7 mins - Yes, yes, we notice the ring.
- 11 mins - This is a mad house! A mad house!
- 28 mins - What did I do to deserve this scene?
- 32 mins - Harry Jr. has a pretty fruity room for a teenage male.
- 37 mins - So trolls just sit around singing all day?
- 45 mins - How exactly does that little mushroom thing get around?
- 59 mins - He actually made Malcolm shorter, now that is powerful magic.
- 71 mins - Talk about anti-climatic battles.
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| | Audio clips in wav format | SOUNDS | Starving actors speak out | |
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| File | Dialog |  | troll1.wav
| Harry Jr: "Can I come in, I think I'm going to throw up."
Eunice: "How can I resist an offer like that?"
| | troll2.wav
| Wendy: "Are you an elf?"
| | troll3.wav
| Eunice: "Harry, your sister isn't an alien. She's something much worse."
| | troll4.wav
| Troll: "Welcome, brother elf."
| | Theme Song | Listen to a clip from the soundtrack. | |
| | Click for a larger image | IMAGES | Scenes from the movie | |
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| | Watch a scene | VIDEO | MPEG video files | |
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| | Leave a comment | EXTRAS | Buy the movie | |
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