|SPACEHUNTER: ADVENTURES IN THE FORBIDDEN ZONE
|Copyright 1983 Columbia Pictures
| Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'
- Wolff - Intergalactic garbage collector and all around hero.
- Nicki - Molly Ringwald! Spunky and amusing girl who hooks up with Wolff to obtain food and fame in exchange for leading him to the Forbidden Zone.
- Washington - Ernie Hudson! Sector Chief of Terra, sort of a Sheriff in outer space. Runs around pointing his laser rifle at everyone.
- Chalmers - Wolff's maintenance android, he should have bought that duck and cover upgrade for her software.
- Jarette and Duster - Two natives of the planet out to get revenge on Overdog.
- Reena, Nova, Meagan - Earth women who escape an exploding spaceliner only to land on a devastated world. What always happens to pretty females when society collapses? You got it, concubine city.
- The Jenny Craig Reject Mutants - Freakish fat people pupae that attack Wolff and Nicki.
- Chemist - Weird scientist and assistant to Overdog, it appears that his spleen is on the outside of his body. Incapacitated when Wolff gives said named organ a healthy squeeze.
- Overdog - Michael Ironsides! Virologist sent to combat the plague on this colony world, instead he became a poorly insulated cyborg dictator. Now really, would you give someone a small personal army and a budding planet to take care of if their name was "Overdog?"
Spacegoing handyman rushes to a ruined world to rescue some captive Earthwomen. After landing he uses an impressive SUV to navigate the tricky terrain and happens upon a pubescent Molly Ringwald. Together they overcome latex covered extras, waterlogged Amazons, and a pro street version of Michael Ironsides.
Okay, that was the plot - bye!
You mean I have to come up with something approaching rational thought to explain this? What exactly do you take me for? Okay, other than that and leave my mom out of this.
From the get go you should realize this movie means business (monkey business), whether is is the great opening title effects that make "Adventures in the Forbidden Zone" almost unreadable or the weird sailing ship/locomotive. I did like Wolff's combat vehicle though, it looks like a roomy Expedition, but how many of those do you see equipped with rocket launchers? Almost missed mentioning his sidearm, despite having cool laser effects discharge from it the weapon still reminds me of a Crossman air pistol.
Our hero does take on the rescue mission to earn some much needed cash, in addition to failing equipment on his spacecraft the rent is two months behind. Why someone who spends months in space would have an apartment is beyond me and the screenwriters I imagine, but it is darn good at illustrating how much he needs the money. Isn't it?
Subsequent to his arrival on the planet all the encounters with requisite mutants and allies occur, with a few fights and two or three vehicles made from lots of rusting sheet metal. I tell you, one of the first things war knocks out is the bottom of the undercoating business. You should not be surprised by anything during the film, but neither is it so terribly done to immediately scream cliche' more than a few times.
|Things I Learned From This Movie:|| |
- Credits sound a lot like tie fighters when they are coming at you.
- Anything can be fixed by kicking it, even an airlock.
- "Crossing the T" works against trains too.
- Chiropractors are more dangerous than judo masters. (I'm alluding to the "crack their neck and render them unconscious" thing.)
- Laser rifles don't float.
- Amazons are amphibious.
- A game where some unlucky bastard is chased through a maze (full of blades, fire, and acid) by a lawnmower is vastly entertaining... ...unless you are a contestant.
- Plastic exhaust hose is commonly used to insulate high voltage power lines.
- 5 mins - One has to ask why the escape shuttle didn't just keep them in suspended animation and circling the planet.
- 9 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A CONTROL PANEL!
- 18 mins - Hey buddy! Does that hang glider/rocket thing pass emissions?
- 21 mins - Oh, he pressed the "turn to goo" button.
- 30 mins - Considering the world is inhabited by mutants I would probably sleep inside the armored vehicle, not on the ground.
- 49 mins - Let us just watch that in reverse for no reason.
- 83 mins - No scale modeling going on here, no sir.
- 85 mins - You should probably wait two or three years to consummate the partnership. What is the age of legal consent in 2136 anyway?
| ||Audio clips in wav format||SOUNDS||Starving actors speak out|| |
||Chalmers: "Okay, what did you do to this?" |
Wolff: "Emergency repair procedure number one."
Chalmers: "You kicked it?"
||Wolff: "What the hell are you?" |
Nicki: "What do you think I am you scrawny earthbag? I'm a woman!"
||Chemist: "Are they missing any limbs? I hate it when they have missing limbs."
||Overlord: "You have a very enviable life force, a life force you're going to share with me." |
Nicki: "But you said if I made it through I'm free."
Overdog: "I lied!"
| ||Click for a larger image||IMAGES||Scenes from the movie|| |
| ||Watch a scene||VIDEO||MPEG video files|| |
|Wolff faces off against Overdog in this action packed scene. You know, hitting some guy who is barely mobile should not be difficult, our hero should look into getting contacts or something.
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