|Copyright 1975 Jamaa Fanaka
| Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 19 May 2001
- Charles - Trying to go straight after spending three years in prison, but first he wants to strangle a couple of people with his giant prehensile penis (more on that in the plot). I think he jumps off a building in the end.
- Carmen - Used to be a prostitute, she is Charles' new girlfriend and truly loves him.
- Twyla - Charles' old girlfriend and losing her was probably for the best. She only knows two dance steps, one to the left and one to the right. The unfortunate thing is that she spends several minutes on the screen dancing.
- Jim - Big fellow who turns a blind eye to police brutality, but refuses to participate. He is the best we could do for a "good cop?"
- N.D. - Once Charles was sent to the big house he took over all the local drug pushing and bought a nightclub; stole Twyla too. Still alive at the end of the movie.
- The Prosecutor - Strangled to death by our hero. I'm still trying to figure out why he deserved that.
- The Judge - Older man that likes to visit prostitutes and narrowly misses being throttled by Charles. Okay, he is reprehensible, but does he deserve to die? Help! Our protagonist is out of control!
- Harry - Violent cop who earned his death by trying to castrate Charles with a pocketknife.
|I have to tell you, getting this review just right was a major obstacle. Keith from Teleport City described my problem in a single sentence: "It's very difficult to summarize the plot of 'Soul Vengeance' then convince people it's actually a very boring movie." Why is that? Well, this film is about a man using his lengthy penis to strangle people. Sounds like an amusing concept right? Sure it does, but go and read what Keith said again before continuing with my article.
Charles and N.D. are drug pushers working their turf on the streets of Watts. While waiting for a supplier to drop off the latest shipment they realize that pigs have staked out the motel. The repercussions of some Italian bigwig being busted are severe enough for them to purposely distract the cops by fleeing. Charles doesn't quite make it, but N.D. scares the pants off Harry by leaping over him. Indignation clouds the officer's already poor judgment and he begins beating Charles (who is handcuffed) in plain view of several citizens. Only a few years after the riots and a very racist white cop starts beating a black man for no obvious reason? Come to think of it, what is the charge? Running without a permit?
Amazingly the situation does not spin out of control, though Carmen nearly has her clothes ripped off while sticking up for the helpless object of police brutality. Jim gets the others into the vehicle and starts driving downtown to book Charles. A few blocks later he pulls over and gets out to smoke, for the sole reason of letting Harry beat up the suspect without distractions. The good cop suddenly remembers his motivation and runs to stop his psycho partner, but is knocked unconscious in the tussle. Harry uses this opportunity to pull out a knife and nearly castrate Charles. Exactly how the arresting officers explained their suspect's wounds to the doctors (probably a dozen people saw the cops with Charles, his manhood intact, on the street) and why this didn't spark violent protests is never explained.
Three years of prison time (what was the charge again?) pass by quickly for our hero. Most of it is nothing more than black and white still photographs that might have been effective inside another film. We get the idea that some psychological scars resulted from almost becoming a eunuch, but will now largely drop this thread until much later in the film. Just focus on the fact that he leaves correctional custody a changed man, one wanting to live an honest life. Arrgghhh! He was a drug dealer, but wrongly sent to prison and brutalized and this cures him? I cannot reconcile this with my sense of right and wrong!
Released and wandering through the old territory, Charles finds that things have changed and he is no longer welcome. Twyla works for N.D. as a stripper, accountant, and bed partner. The first encounter between old friends is full of tension and thinly veiled meanings until N.D.'s goons haul Charles out back and pound on his ribs. He stumbles home to momma's house, whom apparently did not know her son was up for parole, and finally finds succor.
For the next thirty minutes the protagonist settles into a relationship with Carmen, whom luckily recognized him after all these years (he is caught trying to run up a tab and not pay). The two are very happy together, except for her obsession with feeding him stuff full of noodles that is always ready in ten minute! In this case happiness means wearing a red velvet suit and getting romantic on your vinyl couch. Of course you actually have sex on the floor since 70s vinyl couches are an icky thing to feel under your naked body. They make some disgusting squeaking and creaking too, just in case you want to offend the entire range of senses.
You should be complaining that, "This is supposed to be about a killer penis." Join the club, but if the script can take its sweet time getting to the climax, then so can your friendly neighborhood reviewer. Besides, if I don't hammer this point home then you're going to go rent (more likely buy) the film. Who gets blamed when seventy minutes have passed and the seminal killer hasn't stirred? Keith and myself no doubt.
Okay, vengeance finally starts taking place and Harry is the first in line. Talk about the one time I wouldn't mind somebody cutting in front, but no such luck for the jerk. In the middle of the day, when only the officer's wife is home, Charles bluffs his way into the house. He then uses his extraordinary phallus to hypnotize the surprised woman before engaging in intercourse. Returning in the dead of night, he somehow calls to his female thrall and she lets him in the front door. Use your imagination how he kills Harry, the casual observer who has not read the plot summary would think that Charles does it by shaking his head "No" at the poor guy.
Next up on the list is Mr. Prosecutor and this time you see the exact method employed. Charles' manhood elongates to about thirty feet and wraps around the poor shmuck's neck! Luckily killing does not excite the man with the growing gun; the thought of his orgasm spinning the victim's head off is too horrible for even me. By now Jim is seeing a pattern and prevents the Judge from being victim number three. A brief scuffle results in Charles getting the cop's gun (strangely unloaded) and fleeing onto the roof where he threatens to jump. We have finally come full circle and only need to stick an arrow in it for the pictograph to be complete.
Forewarned is forearmed and none of the characters, even the protagonist, deserve sympathy. Why does Charles have sex with all the wives anyway? We hope it is a necessary step in making them obey his commands, otherwise needlessly committing rape makes him a real monster. In the end I cannot feel sorry for anybody except the viewer.
Limbs (and such) are out of control this month as the B-Masters Cabal reviews movies that defy Gray's Anatomy.
|Things I Learned From This Movie:|| |
- Men who have feelings of inadequacy should not be allowed to sculpt.
- Hurdling was invented by drug dealers.
- Women: If you are married to a vice cop then don't have an affair with a drug pusher.
- Disarming nuclear bombs is bad for your blood pressure.
- People with class only drink Chevas Regal.
- Chinese takeout does not foster happy relationships.
- Penises sound like foghorns.
- Weird Al Yankovic's older brother is a cop.
- Opening Credits - Well now, that would be a great piece to stimulate conversation.
- 4 mins - Wait a minute! When did they get married?
- 13 mins - Even with my hands tied I could put up a better fight than Charles.
- 51 mins - Parquet floors? In a dance club?
- 64 mins - Her phone is not broken, but she lets a stranger into the house when he claims to be a repairman?
- 75 mins - If you kiss the woman with any more, uh passion, you will probably cover her nose and suffocation will begin.
- 79 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
- 81 mins - Maybe offering to become a prostitute (again) is not what this relationship needs.
- 89 mins - He must have slept in the day they taught "Patient Confidentiality" at school.
| ||Audio clips in wav format||SOUNDS||Starving actors speak out|| |
||Pimp: "I mean, if you come around that corner one nickel less than twenty dollars, I'm gonna take my wig off your head and beat you to death! Now get on out there and make me some money!"
||Harry's Wife: "You think you're such a man and you didn't even have the guts to destroy the object of your humiliation: me!"
||Charles: "While I was lying up there doing my time man, I made up my mind. I'm not about to spend the rest of my life on the white man's installment plan. What is it? Five here, ten there, maybe another seven and a half until you make that final payment on a slab in some whitey's morgue?"
||A psychiatrist telling Jim about Charles' condition.
| ||Click for a larger image||IMAGES||Scenes from the movie|| |
| ||Watch a scene||VIDEO||MPEG video files|| |
|Charles takes revenge on the prosecutor with his tumescent member. Pretty disturbing when you think about it, but the ex-con is lucky none of his victims were carrying pocket knives or lighters.
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