|EAT AND RUN
|Copyright 1986 New World Pictures
| Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'
- Mickey McSorely - Police detective who is constantly talking to himself.
- Judge Cheryl Cohen - Bleeding heart liberal judge, total bitch.
- Sorely McSorely - Mickey's father, goofy old man who acts like a schizophrenic Sherlock Holmes.
- Police Captain - All he does is eat.
- Drug Pusher - Italian guy, fed to Murray.
- Murray Creature - Rotund space alien who develops a taste for fine food. Eats a poison-laced doll.
|Anybody like Italian? What're you lookin' at den? You lookin' at me, think I got somethin' for ya? I got somethin' for ya right here... (At this point I'm grabbing my crotch and seem to be attacking my teeth.)
Along with supplying a number of seriously stereotyped Italian characters this movie has another redeeming quality: Italian food. Not as in cooked by, as in comprised of, as in eating an Italian person. For some people this might be good. Todd Reinhart (friend of mine) for example, he's been dating and is now engaged to this one girl who is Catholic. No, she is really Catholic (you know what I mean).
Enough about my reconstituted virgin friend, our alien connoisseur has just arrived on Earth when an Italian guy gives him a lift, while driving he extolls the virtues of his native cuisine. Not the brightest thing to do around a four hundred pound space alien. After tasting the Italian in question Murray is hooked, he begins stalking and eating people in New York City's "Little Italy."
McSorely is a police detective, tasked by the department head with finding out why all these people are disappearing, on the side he's boffing Judge Cohen. Cheryl has a delightful habit of being promiscous, she unfortunately has a scorching case of herpes too. I'm dead certain mom wasn't thinking of herpes when she taught you about sharing. McSorely finally captures the monster by feeding it an Italian drug pusher strapped with morphine, but his liberal lover goes ballistic! Cheryl sets the alien free and hooks up with him, trouble is she's Italian. Only her jilted boyfriend's quick thinking saves the day once Murray finds out.
Trying to take this film seriously would be a heinous mistake, along with all the strange jokes there's McSorely's eccentric habit of thinking out load. In fact, the two McSorely's never say anything to each other... ...it's rather frightening.
|Things I Learned From This Movie:|| |
- Never lecture a space alien about ethnic food.
- Grabbing your crotch and sticking your tongue out at a girl will get you laid.
- Cops are dumb as a stump.
- In New York City grandmothers knit pistol holsters for their grandchildren.
- Morphine looks a great deal like flour.
- Strapping sedatives to an Italian and then dressing him up like an organ grinder (complete with monkey) is wrong.
- Police still have to read a human-eating-space-alien his Miranda Rights.
- Women love guys who can tie knots.
- Italians store dough in briefcases.
- Deserted sections of New York City have tumbleweeds.
- It's no use telling a mime to go and get help.
- 4 mins - Dude, you are way overweight. (Notice I didn't make a comment on cutting back his intake of greasy foods.)
- 22 mins - Mickey! Italian munching going on! Right behind you!
- 26 mins - Stop talking to yourself man, now your dad's doing it. Gads.
- 30 mins - Why is this guy selling morphine from the evidence room like he's in an infomercial?
- 41 mins - It's dressed up as a boy scout!
- 42 mins - She had sex with the space alien! Oh, herpes city alien dude.
- 57 mins - Why does this guy keep frying everything? Ring, watch, id bracelet...
- 61 mins - Way too close to Cheryl's teeth here.
- 64 mins - Damn mime...
| ||Audio clips in wav format||SOUNDS||Starving actors speak out|| |
||Cheryl: "Oh, by the way, I forgot to ask if you had herpes." |
Mickey: "No, no, God no, that's one thing I don't have."
Cheryl: "It's not so bad, it stings from time to time, but it doesn't interfere with my social life."
||Captain: "You trying to tell me some guy's going around eating Italians?"
||Mickey: "I figure his first meal must have been an Italian, now he's hooked on Italian food." |
Captain: "Why Italian food?"
Mickey: "Why? Why Italian food? Everybody loves Italian food!"
||Cheryl: "Once we start executing creatures from outer space without due process we have forfeited the right to call ourselves civilized people."
| ||Click for a larger image||IMAGES||Scenes from the movie|| |
| ||Watch a scene||VIDEO||MPEG video files|| |
|Sleeping with the fishes? More like napping with the tapeworms if you ask me. Doesn't anybody else find the idea of a fat guy going around eating Italians funny?
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