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Not Rated
Copyright 1997 Hong Kong Connection. (I believe the film was made in the early 80's.)
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • (Work with me here, there were NO credits)
  • Cha Le and Jun - Virgin boy who is becoming a monk, she is the girlfriend who won't give it up.
  • Old Devil - Powerful evil spirit, he has this cannonball which spits out mini cannonballs. Rat Face and Cha Le finally defeat him.
  • Rat Face - Alcoholic with a face like some rodent, he uses very powerful Kung Fu though.
  • Granny - Cha Le's grandmother, she is a powerful martial arts witch. I think the actor was a man. Killed by Princess.
  • The Watermelon Monster - This thing is a riot! It's a giant toothed cannonball!
  • Princess - Cult leader, very pretty and her sash is deadly. Ends up enslaved to Old Devil and killed by Cha Le.
  • Fat Chick and Shining Knight - Princess' cultists, Fat Chick has this weird "antenna" hair style.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

I was entirely unprepared for this movie, it is a confusing but hilarious roller coaster of Kung Fu mayhem! Words can hardly describe the number of crazy kicks, punches, and special weapons you are treated to. And now for the equally absurd plot. Rat Face is tasked with finding a virgin male born on the 15th of August to perform a temple ritual. Cha Le (a virgin born on the 15th of August) is learning the art of being a martial arts using witch from his manly grandmother. He must retrieve the "secret document" from a hidden room, reaching it involves many dangers, and The Watermelon Monster guards the script. Princess and her cult often collect money from people, they can be very violent about not contributing. Old Devil wants the "secret document" to gain more power or something. The situation comes to a head at the temple ceremony where Rat Face and Cha Le must battle Old Devil. Confused? Watching it won't help - but you will be laughing and asking, "What just happened?" over and over (keep the remote handy for rewind). Never in my life have I seen so many people being pulled or suspended by wires, or stuffed dummies being thrown against walls, etc... ...and The Watermelon Monster, who in the heck thought this thing up? You really have to see this movie my friends, even if you don't like fu flicks.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Kung Fu defies all laws of physics, Einstein knew E=whatever the Shaolin monks decide.
  • Paper is a terrific insulator against fire.
  • Fat women fight by spinning or falling on you.
  • Asian girls say, "I want to cuddle." instead of, "Hump my brains out." but the result is the same.
  • Ladies: don't have sex in your deceased husband's tomb with the new boyfriend.
  • Getting a wine gourd jammed up your ass hurts.
  • Wearing a penis suit does not increase your fighting prowess and is likely to result in bodily harm.
  • Kung Fu requires ventriloquism.
  • People need their teeth in the afterlife.
  • Alcoholics never make it as wine tasters.
  • The Devil is susceptible to being smacked with 4X4's. (As in a piece of wood.)

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 5 mins - What is this? Some strange wicker bumper car being driven by a drunken rat man?
  • 9 mins - I think granny is a man BABY!
  • 13 mins - What in the world is that thing? (The Watermelon Monster.)
  • 15 mins - He painted hairs on his what? Nevermind...
  • 21 mins - That corpse just slapped the guy's behind!
  • 25 mins - That's a darn big sword.
  • 43 mins - We get the idea, she's communing with the dead, get on with it.
  • 76 mins - They sure like to suspend the actors on wires in this movie.

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

Green Music Note dwutang1.wav Cha Le: "Wow! The Watermelon Monster!"
Green Music Note dwutang2.wav The Watermelon Monster's annoying screeching. (Imagine this going on for 2 minutes.)
Green Music Note dwutang3.wav Princess: "Who are you?"
Old Devil: "I'm the Devil!"
Green Music Note dwutang4.wav Old Devil: "Give me the book or I'll kill you all."
Monk: "Don't threaten us and get off our roof!"

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 


 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipdwutang1.mpg - 2.7m
The Watermelon Monster! There is so little I can say to accurately describe this creature, let alone this scene.

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Comments:Write CommentPages: 1 2 3 [4] 5 6
Drunken Wu Tang
Reply #25. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by dbant
I just found and watched this film. OH MY GOD it is insane!

"And get off our roof!"
Drunken Wu Tang
Reply #26. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Julius
If I were to be blasted into outer space for I crime i have yet to commit i would not ask for a final phone call, simply a tape player and Drunken Wu Tang. I've made many friends suffer through this one.  I love the part when Master Ruthless kills the other guy, whose dying words are "MR, this I tell you before I depart..the day you take that the".  I cracked up when MR kept punching him even after he expired. Oh yeah and that giant-ass sword too!  
Drunken Wu Tang
Reply #27. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Sirwanksalot
This movie was done by the Yuen's Clan who have now went onto to become huge H-wood fight choreographers (Yuen Woo Ping) for such movies as Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, MATRIX and it's soon to be released sequals and loads of other smaller picks like Charlie's Angels.

These Yuen's made some of the wackiest Kung FU flicks ever. Heres a list. 1)"Drunken Tai Chi" which features ratface (Yuen Cheung Yan) and the usual Yuen crew along with the great Donnie Yen in his 1st starring role. watch them take on a mute killer with a passion for making Hobbie Horses. 2) "Drunken Wu Tang" (aka Taoist Drunkard) described here featuring cherry boy (Yuen Yat Choh)  3) "Shaolin Drunkard" Ratface plays double roles again as the damn ugly grandmother and costars again with Yuen Yat Choh. Evil Vampire Uses giant toad and Huge fire blowing Puppet to wreck havoc. 4) Wu tang Temple (aka YOUNG TAOISM FIGHTER) No Rat face, but cherry boy delivers the goods, features most bizarre final fight with villian I've yet seen. 5) The Miracle Fighter - Granny and cheery boy battle an evil bat type villian who happens to look like the same guy who always plays the villian these movies (Yuen Hsin Yee aka Sonny). Hope this helps - Sirwanksalot    
Drunken Wu Tang
Reply #28. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by ZoSo
Keep an eye out soon for Drunken Wu Tang to be released on DVD under the other title, "Taoism Drunkard" !!!!
Drunken Wu Tang
Reply #29. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM by Zach
This is one fun movie to watch.  It can be a little hard to follow with the subtitles as difficult to decipher as the plot but that is all moot once the action starts.  Old Devil ranks up there with the Silver Fox as my favorite Kung-Fu bad guys.  I've never known this movie as Drunken Wu-Tang, only as Taosim Drunkard.  It was never part of the Wu-Tang presents VHS series that my local Hollywood video has.  Anyway, thanks for the advice about Invincible Super Chan.  It sounds like a good one that I've been trying to locate.  By the way.  What the hell was that scene about when Ratface is trying to find a cherry boy and is looking at all of the young kids' peckers?  What exactly was he looking for?  Hair? Measurements? Holy Michael Jackson Batman!
Drunken Wu Tang
Reply #30. Posted on January 30, 2005, 04:42:25 PM by Johnny
That black evil ball is just like Grace Jones!!!!!!! love it!
Drunken Wu Tang
Reply #31. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Joe
Im having enormous difficulty finding this film. :(
I thought I found the one with the watermelon monster, but it turned out to be "shaolin drunkard" :(
Please email me if you have this movie, or know where to find it, Im about ready to give up.
Taoism drunkard is what the movie is called on
BUT links to amazon go to either shaolin drunkard or drunken arts, crippled fists
I have bought both, and though shaolin drunkard is pretty damn good....drunken arts crippled fists is just awful.
Drunken Wu Tang
Reply #32. Posted on November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM by Total Nut
I bought this movie on VHS when I was in high school. When I talked about how awesome it was, they thought that "Drunken Wu-Tang" referred to the rap group, the Wu-Tang Clan. I said no, but the group's name may have been inspired by the series. I then kept their interest until I mentioned that the coolest part of the film was the one with the Watermelon Monster, at which point I was further deemed to be the absolute craziest chick in The Class of 1999.
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