|CANNIBAL WOMEN IN THE AVOCADO JUNGLE OF DEATH
|Rated PG-13 (There is nudity)
|Copyright 1988 Gaucamolle Pictures
| Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'
- Dr. Margo Hunt - Shannon Tweed! Professor of Feminist Studies.
- Bunny - Every liberated woman's nightmare, but she wants to be a feminist. This girl has more outfits than you can shake a stick at.
- Jim - Bill Maher! Inept guide who once had a one night stand with Margo.
- Dr. Kurtz - Another feminist, author of "Smart Women, Stupid Insensitive Men." Throws herself into a pool of Piranhas in the end.
- Colonel Mattel - Head of the National Security Commission on Avocado Affairs. He has one eye.
- Piranha Women - Savage feminists who believe men should be killed and eaten with guacamolle dip.
- Barracuda Women - Savage feminists who believe men should be killed and eaten with clam dip.
|Talk about strange and wonderous things! This film is full of camp, not only is southern California transformed into wild avocado jungle but it is inhabited by man eating feminists! Shannon Tweed, whose breasts have starred in numerous films, is a teacher of women's studies! Then of course there is Bunny, this girl is every teenage guy's dream and every feminists nightmare - but she wants to be a progressive woman. There are plenty of little gags here and there, most of them involving Maher and Bunny being boneheads. Dr. Hunt is recruited by the U.S. Government to make liaison with the Pirahna Women and hires Jim as her guide. After encountering vicious hippos, catfish, and Donnahews (men who knit and cook) the explorers discover the Pirahna women are led by a savage ex-feminist and poised to wage war! Bunny nearly joins the cannibals but is unable to complete the initiation rite, which involves her making love to then consuming Jim. Everything works out in the end though, Kurtz is slain, Jim and Bunny marry, and Dr. Hunt returns to her college. A fun film with plenty of women running around in leather loincloths and tops.
|Things I Learned From This Movie:
- Most of southern California is virgin jungle.
- Girls just want to tear men into strips and eat them with gaucamolle dip.
- An hour and a half of feminine nonsense punctuated with half-nude women is tolerable.
- Bill Maher is the last real man but he looks fairly effeminate in a white neck kerchief.
- There are leopards living wild in California.
- Lost female tribes speak French.
- If given a choice between Bill Maher or Shannon Tweed in their underwear I would pick the latter.
- Bunny has a damn lot of clothes, what is up with this girl?
- 3 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
- 4 mins - Pretty pale skin for living in a jungle her whole life.
- 14 mins - Now this is a shirt.
- 18 mins - That's a pretty small barrel for a .44 Magnum, maybe it's a 44 Magnum divided by 2?
- 19 mins - Bunny in one of many outfits, where she keeps them nobody knows.
- 38 mins - Mallards in a tropical rain forest?
- 46 mins - Just conjuring up cases of beer huh? But why Old Milwaukee? Ugh.
- 75 mins - The compound must be right on the international date line, one side is day the other night.
- Bunny: "I've been thinking about changing my major from Home Economics to Feminist Studies, but I wasn't sure if you had any feminist cooking classes."
- Bunny: "I have a lot of fantasies about being tied up and spanked."
|Audio clips in wav format
|Starving actors speak out
|Col Mattel: "Avocados are vital to this nation's security interests. With the communists already in control of Nicaragua and Guatemala and El Salvador strife with revolution California is the last secure supply of Avocados in the free world. We're on the verge of a major Avocado gap!"
|Margo: "Dr. Kurtz? Internationally famous author of 'Smart Women, Stupid Insensitive Men?'"
|Bunny: "Well, sometimes when I'm with a guy I wish that he would tie me up with red licorice ropes and then spank me...and then he'd eat the ropes... and then he'd free me...and then we'd make love while the philharmonic played 'Bolero.'"
|Jim: "Okay, let's see...so she's going to make love to me, that's, that's good - but she's going to kill me and eat me, that's bad."
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|If there is ever a moment to capture, it is Bill Maher accusing Shannon Tweed of being a cannibal feminist. He makes a convincing argument.
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