|NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD
|Copyright 1990 Columbia Pictures
| Reviewed by Max Gardner
on 'a long time ago'|
- Barbara - Catatonic at first, by the end of the movie this rather pretty redhead could kick Rambo's ass with one hand tied behind her back.
- Ben - Tony Todd! Romero's prerequisite kick-ass black guy. He turns into a zombie and then some rednecks shoot him.
- Harry and Helen - Assholish couple, especially Harry. He's shot by Barbara and she's killed by their zombie daughter.
- Tom and Judy Rose - Hicks, both killed when Tom gets the bright idea to shoot the lock off a gas pump with a 12-gauge.
- Sarah - Harry and Helen's daughter. Comatose for most of the film, becomes a zombie, shot by Barbara.
- Johnnie - Barbara's brother. Killed right off the bat.
- Uncle Rege - Just a zombie, but a memorable one. This fat undead hillbilly dies again via a poker to the head, courtesy of Barbara.
- The Zombies: You know the drill: shoot them in the head and you'll live a while longer. Some backwoods kinfolk round them up in the end and have a zombie rodeo.
|In my humble opinion, George Romero's Living Dead trilogy may be the greatest horror series ever made, and, again in my humble opinion, the 1990 remake of Night of the Living Dead is superior to the original. This film simply has better gore, better characters (Barbara in particular-in the 1968 version she was a brain-dead weakling.), more panache, and perhaps slightly less atmosphere. While Romero only wrote the script for this one, his longtime special-effects man Tom Savini did a fine job directing. Harry Cooper, apparently a fourth-grader in a balding forty-year-old man's body, is genuinely unlikable. The final touch is brilliant: he comes down from the attic, overjoyed to see Barbara alive, and she shoots the bastard right between the eyes! Watching two zombies fight over a field mouse is hilarious, by the way. You'll be hitting the rewind button often.|
|Things I Learned From This Movie:|| |
- Beating a zombie with a flower arrangement is ineffective.
- Your fat uncle NEVER keeps his keys where you can find them.
- Don't use a shotgun to unlock the gas pump.
- Doors made of balsa wood won't keep zombies out.
- Mr. McGruder is a zombie-he doesn't care what you think.
- Zombies play with dolls.
- You can saw through a door without cutting the board holding it shut from the other side.
- Any movie that lists "Bob Evans Zombie" in the end credits kicks ass.
- 5 mins - Ouch! (Tombstone to the head.)
- 11 mins - I know he's a zombie, but that had to hurt...
- 13 mins - Kick him in the nuts! Yeah, the frying pan!
- 14 mins - Fireplace poker and crowbar to the head.
- 21 mins - Barbara shouldn't put that severed hand between Uncle Rege's legs.
- 25 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST KINDLING!
- 36 mins - What a loving couple.
- 43 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A DOOR!
- 52 mins - Barbara looks a bit chilly.
- 63 mins - The Flaming Zombie!
- 65 mins - It's official, Tom's an idiot. And now he's crispy.
- 70 mins - Either it's cold again, or Barbara is enjoying this zombie-slaughtering business a bit too much.
- 73 mins - The zombies have some barbecued Tom and Judy.
- 75 mins - A zombie with a needle in it's arm? Subtle, George.
- 76 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A MOUSE!
- 77 mins - Oh, the bitter irony...
- 78 mins - Still a little cold out.
- 80 mins - Zombie corral!
- Ben: "God damn you! GOD DAMN ALL OF YOU!"
- Ben: "Assholes trying to round them up and put them in the back of trucks!"
- Ben: "Son of a bitch got some... ...hot shit gun, like an M-16 or something. He starts... ...KKKKEEEOWW..." (Don't ask me how to spell the noise he makes.)
- Tom: "Don't shoot, don't shoot mister! It's just us!"
Ben: "Who the hell is us?!"
- Tom: "There're more of those things out there, more of those things like Uncle Rege!"
- Harry: "Idiots! You LAME-BRAINS!"
- Harry: "None of those yo-yos has a CAR! What a place to be stuck. In the middle of nowhere. With a bunch of yo-yos!"
- Tom: "Her daddy's got trucks, she's been drivin' since she was little."
- Redneck: "Jesus God damn holy lovin' shit! What in the name of Jupiter's balls are you doin' out here alone, little lady?"
- Reporter: "Tell me, Chief, are these creatures slow-moving?"
Police Chief: "Yeah, they're dead, they're all messed up."
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