|AMERICAN NINJA 2
|Copyright 1987 Golan-Globus
| Reviewed by A.D.
on 'a long time ago'|
- Joe Armstrong - Michael Dudikoff! All American hero who spends most of the film with no lines.
- Jackson - Steve James! Although he is a well respected martial artist, he fails to see the bad scripting and wooden acting.
- Sergeant McDonald - Larry Poindextor! Plays an Army sergeant who shouts at everything, including the dumbed down plot line
- The Lion - Gary Conway! Some drug dealer who wears white suits with bad toupees.
- Everyone else seems to be rejects from an old Star Trek film, because they are red shirt ensigns.
|The movie centers around a small Caribbean island where US Marines are 'becoming lost' - kidnapped by men in black suits. Fortunately, two American military men are there to help (Dudikoff and James), they find out that ninja are kidnapping these Marines to an unknown island, and soon try to go to the island, only to be double-crossed by some US Marines.
When they return Dudikoff and James befriend a lady whose father (a brilliant scientist) has also been kidnapped to the same island. Soon they find out that a powerful drugs baron who's rollin' in money decides to extend his power by making genetically engineered super ninja.
By this point, I lost what was happening to the film, it became far too stupid - ninja aren't born, they are taught the art. Which genes are the ninja ones? It gets even sillier when we are told that they are going to use metal instead of bones.
Every ninja you see gets their butt kicked in one way or another, even the drug baron's henchman gets his ass kicked - and very easily... ...why did they even bother with this crappy film I have no idea.
The ninja employed by drug barons could have been better done as well as the overall plot line.
The end is of course a massive explosion on the island.
|Things I Learned From This Movie:|| |
- There is a ninja gene.
- If you want to create a band of super ninja from ninja genes you have to kidnap US Marines.
- Yelling to a ninja to "stay down" during a fight usually works.
- Getting cut across the stomach with a samurai sword doesn't hurt as much when you have a piece of rope in your mouth.
- Walking between two large boulders on a remote island full of ninja is not a good idea
- Ninja always attack from large boulders.
- Ninja are ridiculously easy to beat.
- Ninja are red shirt ensigns, literally.
- The US Army always investigates things to do with the US Marines, and vice versa.
- Drug lords always wear white suits.
- A very small amount of explosives and chemicals will blow up a huge warehouse and its entire contents.
- In order to go undercover, the Army dresses as Marines.
- Dudikoff looks far better in a Marine uniform than he does in a Army uniform.
- Praying/meditating in a certain way produces a gunpowder-type explosion in front of you.
- Genetic Scientists rant on about ethics, yet are very happy to use explosives and volatile chemicals.
- The US Marines are populated with party crazy teenagers.
- The fight sequence where Steve James yells to a ninja to stay down
- And that's about it really, the end fight sequence is just lame.
| ||Audio clips in wav format||SOUNDS||Starving actors speak out|| |
||McDonald: "Last I heard you were still married." |
Tommy: "No, just 'cause I'm on diet doesn't mean I can't look at the menu right?"
||Wild Bill: "Ninja, what the hell are ninja?" |
Jackson: "They're a secret Japanese society expert in the art of assassination."
||Wild Bill: "This is the most ridiculous story I've heard in my life, are you telling me that my other four men were abducted by these same ninja?" |
Armstrong: "Yes sir."
||Wild Bill rants about ninja, drug pushers, and his breasts.
| ||Click for a larger image||IMAGES||Scenes from the movie|| |
| ||Watch a scene||VIDEO||MPEG video files|| |
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