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Rated PG
Copyright 1996 Monster Island Entertainment
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Tommy - Postal worker who is chosen by an advanced alien consortium to defend Earth.
  • Stephanie - Scientist who specializes in unknown animals. (Is there a big career in this?)
  • George - Police Officer who has a serious conspiracy complex.
  • Arthur - Computer whiz who is at Stephanie's beck and call.
  • The Proctor - Hologram of a tiny (Less than a foot tall.) mall tramp who is sent to brief Tommy.
  • Zarkorr! The Invader - The huge monster which will destroy Earth unless Tommy stops it.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

You get darn little monster out of this "monster movie" my friends. What you do get is a postal employee tasked with defending Earth against a 180 foot tall advesary. Zarkorr looks fairly cool, unfortunately the special effects around him are not. I found some of the dialog extremely entertaining though, especially the way people act upon finding out Tommy works for the U.S. Postal Service. Our hero is visited by "The Proctor" who dumps a whole load of whoop-ass in his lap, he must stop Zarkorr or Earth will be destroyed! So he manages to recruit Stephanie, George, and Arthur to assist him and together they come up with a plan. A plan which involves Tommy going toe to toe with this titan! I'll leave the ending a surprise so I don't ruin it for you...

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • TV sets in New Jersey can pick up the news in Japan.
  • Superior beings have no common sense.
  • One out of every two cops are serious alien conspiracy-theory freaks.
  • The National Guard uses Stinger air-to-air missles against rampaging monsters.
  • Computer hackers are always slightly insane, paralyzed from the waist down, unwashed, and able to hack NORAD.
  • Giant monsters are classified as endangered species.
  • Monsters cause nearby buildings to explode for no obvious reason.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 3 mins - Laser sounds, holes being punched out of the mountain, strange lights - and these idiots yell, "Avalanche?"
  • 32 mins - Who cocked their pistol? George? Nope... ...Tommy? Nope... ...the other cop? Nope... ...well darn, I know I heard it.
  • 35 mins - This Newark, NJ police car has no barrier between the front and back?
  • 40 mins - It was just pitch black but 5 minutes later it looks to be noon?
  • 46 mins - Arthur is typing! Really!
  • 73 mins - In the close-ups he is holding the shield from the other side?

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

Green Music Note zarkorr1.wav Zarkorr Roaring.
Green Music Note zarkorr2.wav Tommy: "No I'm not a mailman. I'm a postal employee, there's a difference."
Green Music Note zarkorr3.wav Security Guard: "This is a gun, put down the c-stand or I will take this gun and shoot you and then you will die."
Green Music Note zarkorr4.wav Reporter: "Jesus Christ no! It's still coming, it hasn't even been touched! It's shooting lightning bolts from it's eyes, the planes are being blown from the sky one by one!"
Green Music NoteTheme Song Listen to a clip from the soundtrack.

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 



 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipzarkorr1.mpg - 2.2m
Beware the postal employee.

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Lesson Learned:
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