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TICKS - 2 Slimes
Rated R
Copyright 1993 Republic Pictures Corp.
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Charles and Holly - Leaders of the youth group, Holly's entire contribution to the plot is providing Charles a sperm dump.
  • Melissa - Charles' anti-social daughter. Yep, put him in charge of more kids.
  • Panic - Kleptomaniac gang member who loves his dog. He turns into a giant tick...
  • Tyler - Nerd kid who is scared of being left alone. (Isn't the woods peaceful Tyler? No crowds...)
  • Kelly - Introvert Asian girl who hates fish.
  • Rome and Dee Dee - The horny kids on this trip.
  • Sir and Jerry - Two marijuana growers intent on protecting their crop. Both become tick meals.
  • Jarvis - Marijuana grower whose herbal steroid mutates the ticks. Becomes a human breeding ground and pops.
  • The Ticks - Softball sized ticks with a hallucinogenic toxin.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

The premise is bad, I'll admit, but you have to love the sight of a softball-sized tick scuttling across the floor. Add to this a group of dysfunctional teenagers and two demented marijuana growers and you've got a plot! The special effects aren't so special but they're gooey; for some reason mutated ticks are covered in slime.

A group of inner city youths is participating in a program where they are taken into the woods and given access to hatchets and fire. Great idea! Generation X doesn't get a chance to regress though, they are soon beset by horror of horrors: Jerry and "Sir." Through a complicated course of events only one of the kids is killed and a forest fire kills the ticks. Except one, attached to the bottom of their van...

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Calming music does not belong in scenes involving tire blowouts.
  • Kids always carry flash paper.
  • Tick pods are full of maple syrup.
  • If something is burrowing under the skin of your chest don't shoot at it you moron.
  • Herbal steroids will cause massive mutations in wood ticks, um, because they have wood in their name...
  • Being stabbed in the knee does little to impede movement.
  • Never send a brain-damaged idiot to fetch the van.
  • Anabolic steroids are painkillers.
  • Giant ticks will explode spectacularly if touched by flame.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 7 mins - I've been looking at this machine for about 2 minutes and still have no idea what it's intent is.
  • 25 mins - This slow "pan up the wall" scene is painfull.
  • 36 mins - Hey Panic! Did you say, "Brutus?" Would he move? (you'll have to watch the movie)
  • 45 mins - Nobody is freaking out that this dead dog's body is jumping around?
  • 62 mins - Flame retardant Christmas tree ad...
  • 70 mins - It's supposedly night but that is definately sunlight.
  • 84 mins - I'm sorry? The van magically moved closer? And how did Tyler get into the driver's seat so fast?
  • 85 mins - Who left a trail of gas to the propane tank?

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

Green Music Note ticks1.wav Panic: "See, they call me 'Panic' cause I never do."
Green Music Note ticks2.wav Charles: "And poor Kelly, a prisoner of her own troubled mind. In the end, I fear this group will not successfully bond, despite their common antagonist."
Green Music Note ticks3.wav Vet: "A wood tick!"
Charles: "Ticks do not get this big."
Vet: "It's a tick. Severely altered, but a tick all the same."
Green Music Note ticks4.wav Jerry: "Yeah, they bite like a son of a bitch."

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 


 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipticks1.mpg - 1.8m
"I'm infested!"

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