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THE STUFF - 3 Slimes
Rated R
Copyright 1985 New World Pictures
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • David Rutherford - Michael Moriarty! Industrial spy that isn't as dumb as he looks, sounds, or acts.
  • Nicole Kendall - Ad campaign executive who cares more about people than the money (first departure from reality).
  • Jason - Darn kid, you know, the one that can't get killed.
  • Chocolate Chip Charlie - The Chocolate Chip Cookie King, loses his company in a hostile takeover. Martial arts master too!
  • Colonel Spears - Leader of a militant group, mankind's last hope to stop "The Stuff" from taking over.
  • The Stuff - If the Nazis had made yogurt...

Buy It!

The Plot: 

Man eating dessert whip and militant groups! A new taste sensation is sweeping the nation, it's "The Stuff!" I liked the beginning of this movie, some old guy finds nasty white stuff bubbling out of the ground - SO HE TASTES IT! Mmmmm, that's good, we should sell this to people. Then you have the "greedy old men" of the ice cream industry hiring an investigator, who appears to be a complete moron, to learn the inside scoop about the new treat. "The Stuff" makes you hungry for more and soon takes over your body, leaving only a empty shell filled with ambulatory cream. To top all this off (not with a cherry you rube) it is a militant group which ultimately saves humanity by defeating the "whipped" zombies! Extremely fun film for your bad movie sweet tooth.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Kids who are unruly should be sent to bed with a pint of dessert.
  • Reddish-brown cowboy boots do not go with gray suits.
  • Dogs love whipped cream but it pisses them off.
  • There are a darn lot of cars from PA in New York City and NJ.
  • Non-dairy creamers are bad, real bad. (glazed expression) Support your local dairy farmer... ...he is your friend... ...cows good...
  • It is possible to slap someone unconscious.
  • Militant groups travel by taxi.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 2 mins - Okay, so the old guy finds this stuff bubbling out of the ground, in the middle of a mining facility, and starts eating it? How did he get that old being so stupid? Damn you Darwin, it's all been a lie!
  • 17 mins - The stuff is kept frozen, refrigerated, and at room temp.
  • 48 mins - Jason is hiding atop the bare metal tanker in his red shirt.
  • 54 mins - David had to hotwire the truck but now he's starting it with a key?
  • 59 mins - Jason really isn't inside that tank is he? I know this was made years ago but those effects suck!
  • 74 mins - A huge army of machinegun-carrying extremists invades town and no cops or National Guard?

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

Green Music Note thestuff1.wav Jason's Mom: "Low in calories, good tasting, and it doesn't even spot...and he doesn't like it."
Green Music Note thestuff2.wav David: "Everybody has to eat shaving cream once in a while."
Green Music Note thestuff3.wav David: "That stuff comes right out of the center of the Earth, and straight into our supermarkets."
Green Music Note thestuff4.wav Colonel Spears: "Pay the drivers, issue a ten percent tip, get a cash receipt."
Militants: "Yes sir!"
Colonel Spears: "Proceed to the main lobby, we will reassemble, HUP!"

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 



 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipthestuff1.mpg - 2.3m
Dessert eating a person!

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