SKEETER
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| Rated R
| | Copyright 1993 Team Players Productions
| | Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'
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- Roy Boone - He's a sexy man, he know's that he's a sexy man. He sculpts metal scrap shirtless, he's a sexy man.
- Sarah - Red head who used to be Roy's sweetheart, she looks darn good in chaps.
- Ernie Buckle - Corrupt sheriff who has been getting paid off by Drake. Sucked dry.
- Hank Tucker - American Indian deputy who is a peyote addict.
- Gordon - County examiner who is investigating the cattle deaths.
- Hopper - Village idiot, he's been keeping one of the giant mosquitos as a pet.
- Drake - Rich jerk who is buying up all the land, it's his toxic waste that started this mess.
- Frank and Chrissy - Father and daughter team who are looking for the family's missing boys (they were already eaten). Chrissy watches her father get siphoned and ends up a vegetable.
- Clay - Sarah's father, has a serious case of "empty nest" going on.
- Skeeters - Giant (pigeon sized) mosquitos created from by toxic waste.
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Sit down please, the reports of giant mosquitos are far overblown. There aren't that many of them actually, maybe two dozen or so. Our main problem is they like to bite you right in the small of the back. Stop, drop, and roll you say? This is a b-movie, not a fire drill!
Sorry, had to get that off my chest before describing the plot. Drake is building housing developments (In the middle of a desert?) and dumping the dangerous waste into a mine, there it seeps into the water supply. With the county sheriff in his pocket he is only worried about Boone and Gordon blowing the whistle. Wait, EVERY cow in a hundred miles falls over dead and nobody wigs out? Boone is more concerned about Sarah being back in town than the dying livestock. You have to carefully consider a woman, who has good teeth, when the population is forty or so.
Boone and Tucker have a shootout with Drake's goons, rescue Sarah from the mine full of mosquitos (How did the kid's corpse get in that hole anyway?), and blow the breeding pool to smithereens. I'm not going to pull any punches my friends, this film is fairly bad, but not without redeeming qualities. The mosquites were well done, I wish we had a better look at them. |
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| Things I Learned From This Movie: | |
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- Skeeters see everything through a red filter.
- Dead cows can easily be mistaken for piled blankets.
- Blood looks alot like salsa.
- Indian deputies perform ancient burial rites using road flares.
- Morgues are a great place for a stick up.
- Nobody wants to see a fifty year old hick's backside.
- Giant mosquitos make big splats.
- Cheating wives belong in car trunks.
- Shotguns will blow a skeeter to bits but leave the floor underneath without a scratch.
- You can make a flamethrower from stuff lying around the house.
- Gunpowder, stored in wooden barrels in a damp mine, stays good for years.
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- 6 mins - Why did he stop driving on the road? Can a motorcycle outrun mosquitos better on rough terrain?
- 9 mins - Tuck in your shirt man!
- 24 mins - Nothing like watching your dad get eaten by mosquitos.
- 28 mins - What the heck is wrong with Tucker? Oh, bad peyote...
- 54 mins - Uh oh, random jerk. You are very, very dead.
- 59 mins - You are going to need a new bug zapper.
- 63 mins - We get the idea, they're having sex. Now either show something or get back to the movie.
- 68 mins - Ouch, phone to the head.
- 79 mins - That "rock" wall bent in when she pushed on it! Hehehehehe!
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- Gordon's Boss: "I'll see to it you're checking toxicity levels in service station toilets from here to Tijuana."
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| | Audio clips in wav format | SOUNDS | Starving actors speak out | |
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| File | Dialog |  | skeeter1.wav
| Ernie: "Nothing gets done around here without my approval, now do you understand?"
Boone: "I understand that's why nothing gets done around here."
Ernie: "You just do your job Boone!"
| | skeeter2.wav
| Gordon: "You people have a problem here in Clear Sky with your cattle. I'm here to tell you whether it's environmental."
| | skeeter3.wav
| Hick #1: "Vampire bats!"
Hick #2: "Killer ducks!"
| | skeeter4.wav
| Tucker: "This is only the head and leg of a very big mosquito."
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| | Click for a larger image | IMAGES | Scenes from the movie | |
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| | Watch a scene | VIDEO | MPEG video files | |
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 | skeeter1.mpg
- 2.5m
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| Chrissy is helpless as the skeeters drain every last drop of her father's precious salsa from his body.
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| | Leave a comment | EXTRAS | Buy the movie | |
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