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PARASITE - 2 Slimes
Rated R
Copyright 1982 The Parasite Venture
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Paul - Doctor who worked for "The Merchants" and created Parasites.
  • Patricia - It's Demi Moore! I bet she tries to forget this movie...
  • The Merchant - Searching for Paul to recover the Parasite. First his neck is chewed through, then he is set on fire.
  • Collins - Bar owner who used to live in NYC until people started "dropping dead in the streets."
  • Ricus - Violent thief and rapist who leads a gang. The Merchant kills him.
  • Maggie - Loose innkeeper who wears too much makeup; she finds out it's raining Parasites.
  • Zeke - Half retarded gang member, the first Parasite treat.
  • Dana - Zeke's main sperm dump until she gets chomped.
  • The Parasite - Cross between a tadpole and a shark.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

Way back in the beginning of Demi Moore's career here pals, watch this and then watch "Striptease" - hmmm, are they real? I think not! Good old Demi also has a serious fixation with lemons in this flick, they even call her the lemon girl. Our hero in the movie is Paul though, he is running from a corrupt company and trying to cure himself of a parasite. (You get to watch a man give injections to a raised mound of latex on his belly) Well, the company sends a "merchant" to kill Paul and some gang is out to get him as well. Seems like everyone wants to kick Paul's ass, looking at him I see why. "Merchants" appear to be futuristic hit men equipped with killer laser pointers. It's your standard storybook ending though: Guy sonic waves parasite in his stomach to death, guy fights "merchant" to save girl, "merchant" is attacked by surviving parasite, then guy sets "merchant" and parasite on fire. Didn't Disney do this one?

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Never carry flesh boring Parasites in a uncovered petri dish.
  • Laser pistols are made of low durability plastic.
  • In the future silver is the base currency... because it's more common than gold and doesn't conduct electricity as well.
  • Parasites should be carried in a large thermos.
  • Demi Moore really likes lemons.
  • Laser pointers can cut your hand off.
  • Nasty, violent, thief dudes should not complain that "you can't care about people anymore."
  • If you know a Parasite's frequency you can sonic wave it into boiling chili.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 10 mins - Hey, a naked woman! Aand she's tied up... ...who needs "The English Patient" anyway?
  • 15 mins - $40 a gallon for gas? Damn you Saddam!
  • 20 mins - Maggie, there is no way even this goofy looking guy would touch you.
  • 27 mins - Heya Demi's here! Well, those breasts could certainly grow several sizes without a surgical procedure.
  • 25 mins - Is Maggie wearing a necklace of walnuts?
  • 36 mins - Where did the cut on his arm go?
  • 57 mins - If I could just figure out what these hanging metal things are...
  • 63 mins - This Lamborghini never gets dusty, must be a Pledge ad hiding somewhere.
  • 87 mins - Obviously wearing a flame suit.

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

Green Music Note parasite1.wav Some Old Guy: "I'm telling you, it's getting so a fella can't get away from the God damn sickies no more."
Green Music Note parasite2.wav Collins: "I left New York for that same reason. Hell, I loved that city. That's before it got crazy that is, and all that atomic shit started falling out of the skies."
Green Music Note parasite3.wav Patricia: "It's made from lemons, it's good for you."
Green Music Note parasite4.wav Paul: "And wherever a spore touches you, a Parasite will grow."

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 



 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipparasite1.mpg - 2.9m
Why did that guy dive through plate glass?

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