|Copyright 1982 Jenkins Rondo Sutherland.
| Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'
- Jerry - Victim of a dog attack while young, he has grown into a very stressed out and maladjusted young man. Finally snaps and goes on a killing spree, but the strange thing here is that he apparently imagines himself to be a feral dog. Shot by the landlord.
- Sharon - Young lady who is the object of affection for most of the males in this movie. She is very, well... ...nice. Yes, that's it! She's nice! You single boys and girls should remember that one for blind dates.
- Ken - Routinely addressed as a Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes though he seems to be nothing more than a normal human being. Ends up a normal electrocution victim after an unfortunate accident.
- Ike - Postal worker and World War II enthusiast who dated Sharon a few times. For some reason his nose looks enormous when viewed from the front, but normal via a side profile. Maybe it's those thick glasses? Killed by Jerry.
- Leon - Friendly bearded guy, the accepted voice of reason in an apartment building gone mad. Killed by Jerry.
- Toad - Little jerk who sucks up to Woody. Killed by Jerry.
- Turquoise - Why in the heck does she put up with Woody? Gardening is her pastime, thank goodness we see her bare and sweaty back. (What am I saying?) Killed by Jerry. Noticing a pattern here?
- Woody - Loudmouthed idiot and unofficial floor manager for the apartment building. Though he was on the other side of a TV screen I kept wondering how he kept all his teeth through the years. Just being a casual observer made me want to knock his block off. All together now: "Killed by Jerry."
|Those huge video boxes you run across are usually a no-no, but still I pick them up, when will I ever learn? In my defense the case, with it's slide out plastic tray that smacks of so many low budget porn films, had a rendition of Cerberus on the cover. Seems like a killer dog movie right?
Wrong! The only canine present does attack someone, alas Woody shoots it quite dead early on. After that it ends up rotting in Ken's bed as the center point of a cruel practical joke, too bad for us it does not stagger about on stiff legs and bare it's terrible teeth in a mockery of unlife. Note to screenwriters/producers/directors: Somebody make a damn zombie dog movie! I want a freaking undead English Mastiff turning people into kibble.
Ken takes room and board in a large house which has been turned into low rent apartments, the tenants of which are all the fine examples of humanity one would expect in such a dump. He gains the animosity of Ike by dating Sharon, while Woody hates him for not being trash and hanging around with Jerry. So the stage is set for a rather disgusting prank, what Ken finds in his bed is the previously mentioned dead dog. During a scramble to turn on the lights he knocks over a vase or something full of water and the badly wired lamp turns him into a prime example of electricity following the path of least resistance.
Poor Jerry goes over the edge following his friend's death, in addition to nightmares he begins having spells of insanity and killing the other tenants. The deep and rumbling growl he issues just before attacking is this movie's high point, since the killer's identity is hardly a difficult puzzle. As Videohound would say, "Woof!"
|Things I Learned From This Movie:|| |
- Men use hubcaps to mark their territory.
- Beauty standards are much lower in small towns.
- There is a variety of blue corn.
- Dead and rotting dogs make poor bed partners.
- Female gardeners commit some of the most heinous fashion crimes.
- Rubbing a man's back will put him to sleep in seconds.
- Putting a heavy duty lock on a flimsy door is rather stupid.
- Being stabbed once in the back with a three inch nail will instantly kill you.
- 4 mins - Shut that dog up, what moron chained it near the front door anyway?
- 8 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A TOMATO!
- 22 mins - He fired a pistol into the middle of three people and luckily hit the dog?
- 27 mins - This place is a shithole. I mean the house, not the movie, well that too...
- 35 mins - By now the fuse should have popped.
- 39 mins - One step closer to a breakdown, come on Jerry snap! Nobody loves you, mommy and daddy hated you, the one acting job you could land sucks... ...snap darn it!
- 74 mins - Lady, you might as well have "Purina" stamped on your ass.
- 75 mins - Oh no, who let the dog out?
| ||Audio clips in wav format||SOUNDS||Starving actors speak out|| |
||Jerry: "Hey look, I've got a lot of work to do, I've got to finish this book I'm working on, you know, by tomorrow."
||Ike: "I mean Woody killing my dog." |
Sharon: "Well the dog was attacking Richard, what did you expect?"
Ike: "You're taking Woody's side aren't you?"
||Jerry: "I heard it, last night something was in the house!"
| ||Click for a larger image||IMAGES||Scenes from the movie|| |
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