|THE GREEN SLIME
|Copyright 1968 Metro Goldwyn-Mayer Inc.
| Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'
- Commander Jack Rankin - This guy wouldn't stop smiling if a rabid weasel was in his shorts; he would just grin and give you a thumbs up.
- Commander Vince Elliott - In charge of the space station and not very happy Rankin is senior to him. A rash man who gives one Green Slime a hug. (That means he dies.)
- Lisa Benson - Woman torn between loving Rankin and Elliott.
- Dr. Halvorsen - Head researcher aboard the space station, he gets seriously fried.
- General Jonathan Thompson - Gruff senior officer, his main role in this movie is sweating.
- Captain Martin - Elliott's right hand man, for some reason he looks natural in a white motorcycle helmet.
- The Green Slime - Alien life form which feeds on energy and even a single drop of blood can regenerate into new creatures. Incinerated.
|Packing more goofy models and props than most Godzilla films comes this lovely piece of b-cinema.
I still want to know who starched Commander Rankin's face while he was smiling, either the guy is a loon or he's on some serious happy pills. Prozac boy gets things done though; when you have a rogue asteroid hurtling toward Earth he's the man to call. (Not Bruce Willis, mind you.)
When the astronauts land to place their bombs they find the asteroid is inhabited by strange blobs of glowing slime that are drawn to the equipment. After blasting off and barely escaping the massive explosion (Imagine an orange and brown papier mache' ball with half a stick of dynamite inside and you're golden.) the heroes return to Space Station Gamma 3.
Unfortunately, for everyone, some of the slime was carried back on a space suit. It soon evolves into a tentacled creature! So the thing kinda looks like Sigmund the Sea Monster - he never fried anyone with several thousand volts of electricity. (Yes, I know it's the amps that get you.) This gives a nice excuse for Elliott and Rankin to have a power struggle over who is in charge, the latter a firm believer in "shoot first ask questions later."
Another unfortunate fact about Green Slime: even a single drop of blood will grow into a new monster. So now you have dozens of pissed off Sigmunds running around electrocuting the crew, good job Rankin.
In the end humanity is saved by crashing Gamma 3 into Earth's atmosphere, incinerating the Green Slime. Thank goodness something stopped them besides THROWING your laser rifle. The characters often unload at point blank range without effect. Soon as they throw the weapon it goes right through the monster's eye. Even if you don't like watching "spacemen" wearing white 1960's police motorcycle helmets firing "laser guns" at waddling masses of latex monsters you have to love the title song.
|Things I Learned From This Movie:|| |
- Asteroids look like a Gobstopper which has been under the refrigerator for ten years.
- Movies are less interesting from a phone's objective.
- Pulsing green muck plays heck with interstellar golf carts.
- People can stand up and walk around while experiencing ten G's.
- Never let a bitter exgirlfriend tend your wound.
- Alien life is best represented by green soap suds.
- Space station security guards wear white motorcycle helmets with a little space symbol on them.
- Golf carts are not four wheel drive.
- Laser rifles work better as spears.
- Never hug an ungrounded Green Slime.
- 2 mins - Nice miniatures, ahm.
- 13 mins - For some reason this scene is making me horny.
- 25 mins - Bad dubbing!
- 48 mins - White motorcycle helmets?
- 64 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A FLASHLIGHT!
- 70 mins - The explosion took out half of the model space station, but not that flimsy door?
- 75 mins - Elliott could use some boxing lessons.
- 83 mins - Jack, I'm going to kick your smiling self in the testicles. What do you think of that?
| ||Audio clips in wav format||SOUNDS||Starving actors speak out|| |
||Elliott: "Now, since that's the way it is, let's be sure that's the way it is, huh?"
||Rankin: "You're making a big mistake Lisa. You don't love Vince - you pity him." |
Lisa: "I'm very happy with him."
Rankin: "You're lying, you love me."
||Rankin: "What a minute. You mean this stuff reproduced itself inside the decontamination chamber and then as we...as we stepped up the current it just grew?" |
Dr. Halvorsen: "Precisly!"
||The sound a Green Slime makes.
|Theme Song|| Listen to a clip from the soundtrack. |
| ||Click for a larger image||IMAGES||Scenes from the movie|| |
| ||Watch a scene||VIDEO||MPEG video files|| |
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