|Copyright 1990 AIP
| Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'
- John Tucker - David Carradine! Tough cop with a robotic glove, upholds the law without question, but he has a tendency to punch opponents in the crotch.
- Marion - Female reporter who is about to blow the lid off corruption within the C.O.P.S. organization.
- Billy - John's computer whiz friend, confined to a wheelchair (Of course.) by an unfortunate accident. Bullets are equal opportunity, he dies.
- Roxanne - Girl with painted on jeans who is sweet on Tucker, she freaks me out. Largely on account she looks like the mutant woman in "Total Recall" without using makeup. Becker slits her throat.
- Mr. Grimes - Priest and gang lord, crack shot with a LAW too.
- Alicia - Marion's boss and friend, cut up by Becker.
- Becker - Big guy who is Adams' main enforcer. Quite deadly with his butterfly knife, but no match for Tucker.
- Mr. Adams - Owner of the C.O.P.S. organization, should have stayed behind his desk.
|In the future David Carradine is a tough guy on a tough beat, he's the best of America's bounty hunters. What sets him apart from all the others? First off, the man is indestructible, his enemies empty shotguns several times over at point blank range and nothing happens. Helicopters with snipers firing assault rifles, thugs wielding 2X4s, nothing can stop him. Just when you think he's beat, the man pulls a flying, remote control, crotch smashing, robotic glove of death out of his ass. Complimenting all this brawn is Billy's brain, poor Billy could have used a little of the first trait, when things go bad he eats quite a serving of lead. Tucker's a good C.O.P. you must understand, he doesn't care about payoffs, just getting the job done right. Mr. Adams doesn't like straight cops (Oh, you know what I mean.), he needs to shut Alicia up before her video tape exposes everything. Tucker finds her first and won't just give the woman up. With an entire city of hired killers after them it's time to hide, John must have taken hiding lessons from an Ostrich by the way. (The cartoon version.) Oh well, the plot and effects are good for laughs, but some of the dead sections drag painfully. |
|Things I Learned From This Movie:|| |
- Robotic gloves can enable an otherwise normal man to hold a car still while it's spinning tire.
- Priests run street gangs.
- The most interesting thing in a strip club is the evening news.
- Tough guys all drive 4X4s.
- A single smoke grenade will obscure one mile of road.
- Shotguns have no recoil.
- Hiding out in your very recognizable SUV on a deserted street doesn't work.
- Jeeps are bulletproof.
- The main bad guys take forever to kill, it's like playing Double Dragon...
- 4 mins - Guilty until proven innocent with a right to die? Did Ross Perot win an election?
- 13 mins - Ouch! (Mashed in a car crusher.)
- 22 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
- 23 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A TV!
- 26 mins - What a secure password...
- 37 mins - Shooting a twelve gauge like that is going to give you a black eye.
- 51 mins - Wow! What is this rated again?
- 52 mins - He could not see her crouched down in the front seat?
- 57 mins - Lady, everybody has been shooting at you...
- 63 mins - Oh, like you are not used to waking up alone after going to bed with a guy.
| ||Audio clips in wav format||SOUNDS||Starving actors speak out|| |
||Narrator: "In the year 1991 crime in America was out of control."
||Tucker: "My name is John Tucker, C.O.P.S. You've committed a crime and been found guilty, you have the right to die."
||C.O.P.S. Guy: "Man I don't believe it. We got him; we got the one and only John Tucker!"
||Becker: "They told me you were the best. Hell, I've killed women tougher than you."
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