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BODY MELT - 3 Slimes
Not Rated
Copyright 1993 Body Melt Pty Ltd and Dumb Films/Australian Film Commission/Film Victoria.
Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'

The Characters:  

  • Sam Phillips - Gnarly old Australian Cop, does not drink alcohol.
  • Johnno - Rookie cop, he has some affections for waterfowl.
  • Shaan - In charge of the Vimuville heath spa, her head collapses.
  • The Nobles - Family, dad has this horrid jogging suit (he turns into snot), mom's tongue chokes her, the son dies rollerblading, and daughter is left for the asylum.
  • Sal and Gino - Two young lads out to get laid, both fall prey to a random family of genetic freaks.
  • The Rands - Family expecting their first baby, she has some problems and her placenta attacks him.
  • Paul Matthews - Bachelor, not very hard to see why.
  • Dr. Carrera - Developer of Vimuville's amazing vitamins.
  • Pud - Dr. Carrera's partner at one time, stole a necessary ingredient of the superdrug.

Buy It!

The Plot: 

This movie is just plain ODD!

Vimuville is a drug company experimenting with new vitamins. Unfortunately, for the unknowing people experimented on, they do not work quite right. Prepare to see body organs and an esophagus more times than you might like - along with some dude gulping dishwashing liquid. There is also a group of freaks who are thrown in for no apparent reason other than to eat Sal and Gino. (They also kill a Kangaroo and eat the adrenal gland from it.)

Sam and Johnno finally pinpoint Vimuville for the disgusting meltdowns but not until every innocent bystander (except the Rands daughter) meets their end. Add to all this a techno soundtrack befitting a Tracy Lords' film and you're dealing with pure genius.

I really liked this movie. It was offbeat and kept me interested the entire time.

Things I Learned From This Movie: 

  • Australia looks just like Texas, but with alot of British-descended people.
  • Don't drink dishwashing detergent and drive.
  • Punk rocker chicks and bag ladies are not, repeat not, attractive.
  • Every movie needs a three-legged dog.
  • There are darn few normal people in Australia.
  • Inbreds eat people.
  • A woman's placenta is fully capable of self-locomotion and will harbor resentment against the father.
  • Snot is also mobile.
  • Masturbation may cause spontaneous penis explosion.
  • You can never get enough footage of an esophagus, Hollywood take note... ...Schindler's List, great movie but no esophagus.

Stuff To Watch For: 

  • 5 mins - Here we go with the porn music.
  • 11 mins - What the hell kind of jogging suit is he wearing?
  • 19 mins - The music in this movie is oddly arousing.
  • 22 mins - Why does this guy keep longing for ugly women?
  • 26 mins - Good grief! It's a whole colony of ugly bastards!
  • 34 mins - No, don't have sex with her, no, no, no, no,no,nonononono...
  • 39 mins - Dude just picked his wedgie.
  • 44 mins - She's massaging his rib out?
  • 58 mins - Enough with the porn music, I'm sore...

 Audio clips in wav formatSOUNDSStarving actors speak out 

Green Music Note bodymelt1.wav Shaan's boyfriend: "The first phase is hallucinogenic, the second phase is glandular, the third phase is arrrrgghhhh!"
Green Music Note bodymelt2.wav Pud: "How many kids in your family?"
Gino: "Italians mate, you know spermatossa el'grosso."
Green Music Note bodymelt3.wav Dr. Carrera: "Up until their birth, babies are the ultimate parasite."
Green Music Note bodymelt4.wav Dr. Carrera: "The human body, at best... ...a neglected engine running on cheap fuel."
Green Music NoteTheme Song Listen to a clip from the soundtrack.

 Click for a larger imageIMAGESScenes from the movie 


 Watch a sceneVIDEOMPEG video files 

Video Clipbodymelt1.mpg - 2.5m
Shaan's condition has become advanced; when the young Noble girl smacks her things take a turn for the worse. Okay, so Shaan's head collapses. That does not mean she is less attractive than before.

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