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MESA OF LOST WOMEN
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| Not Rated
| | Copyright 1953 Howco Productions
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Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 25 March 2008
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An oil company employee rescues two people, a man and a woman, he finds wandering in the desert. The pair is suffering from exposure and dehydration, but the man babbles on about needing to destroy "Them" before they scatter. His nearly incoherent story dissolves into a flashback.
Deep in the Muerto Desert, a mad scientist named Dr. Aranya toils in his secluded laboratory inside of a plateau (one white mana or one red mana). He freely swaps hormones and glands between humans, insects, and spiders. The fruits of these bizarre experiments are beautiful women who never age and are nearly impossible to kill, along with stunted men and a huge spider with human intelligence. Dr. Aranya controls his creations by telepathy, which is good. Screaming, "I'm not a fly! I'm not a fly! Go away!" at a 250 lb tarantula is an exercise in futility, because it does not have any ears.
Okay, maybe spiders can "hear" in a way. A tarantula still does not have ears. I checked; the memory still gives me the heebie-jeebies.
A respectable scientist visits Dr. Aranya and reacts with revulsion upon seeing the immoral experimentation. Doctor Do-Right is given an injection that turns him into a dangerous loony and returned to civilization. Later, the crazy man escapes from his comfy asylum and abducts several people. The hostages are forced aboard a mechanically unsound aircraft and it takes off. When the port engine finally catches on fire, the pilot makes an emergency landing in a clearing atop a remote desert mesa (guess which mesa; really, try and guess). The group of survivors struggles to continue surviving as Aranya's creations close in.
Something that puzzles me is that the people who are kidnapped pass up multiple prime opportunities to overpower the crazy scientist. Yes, he has a pistol, but his attention often seems to wander. There were several times that I would have belted him in the chops and taken the gun away.
Before the ill-fated plane ride, we see one of the spider women performing an interpretive tarantula dance in a smoky cantina. The performance is not bad, but I was too afraid that Tarantella was equipped with spinnerets (you know, down there) to find her attractive.
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| Things I Learned From This Show: | |
|  | Plaid is the color of angst.
| | | Tarantulas are a variety of insect.
| | | In the old days, the only time that you could not smoke on an aircraft was during an emergency landing.
| | | Brides-To-Be: if you have sex on your wedding night, it should be with your husband.
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| | | 6 mins - Is he talking about Republicans?
| | | 11 mins - Must be one of those "pick your own salt" farms.
| | | 57 mins - Yes, it did sound like a midget running through the underbrush, but if you say that the others will think you are completely insane.
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