The truly terrible joke thread

RCMerchant · November 05, 2020, 03:36:36 PM

Here's something you don't hear too often-
"Dad, you really oughta drink more!"

RCMerchant · November 05, 2020, 03:39:39 PM

If you had only one tooth would you brush it for a real long time?

Rev. Powell · January 18, 2021, 12:35:47 PM

indianasmith · January 18, 2021, 09:37:28 PM

HOW MANY TRUMP SUPPORTERS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?

"Anitfa broke the old bulb! And stole the new one! Sad!!"

Alex · January 20, 2021, 10:59:40 AM

One I heard on the news today:

It is set to be very cold for the Biden inauguration today. Apparently it is going to be minus 45.

ER · January 22, 2021, 12:10:01 AM

What did the cops say when they let the longtime badmovies.org member out of jail?

"Release the Kraken."

ER · January 28, 2021, 07:30:46 PM

Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me, it means a lot.

Leah · February 08, 2021, 04:35:31 PM

A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank. The rabbit says I might be a type o.

indianasmith · February 08, 2021, 10:34:20 PM

What did the seven dwarfs say when they spotted a prostitute on drugs?

"HIII HOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

RCMerchant · February 09, 2021, 11:55:18 AM

^ Oh no! You didn't!

If we are going to fight the war on terror, we should start with haunted houses.
Because their scary, you know. It's haunted. By ghosts.

indianasmith · February 09, 2021, 11:47:59 PM

Astronomers have determined that earth, during its proto-planetary stage, was more than twice as large as it is now.
But, before it began to cool, the molten planet was struck by a large, glowing asteroid of the kind known as Aggressive Lithic Luminaries (ALL) which caused it to split into two pieces. The larger chunk fell into the sun and disintegrated; the smaller one condensed and became our planet.
Which explains the meaning of the old Disneyland song: "It's a Small World After ALL"!

RCMerchant · February 10, 2021, 02:24:16 AM

What did the Boston Marathon bomber do that Hitler could not?

He ended a race.

RCMerchant · February 10, 2021, 02:50:52 AM

A drunk walks into a bar. He sits for a while talking to another guy for a bit, walks to the bar and says to the barkeep- "I bet 50 bucks if you line up 10 shot glasses on this bar I can p**s in all of them and not get a drop on the bar!"
"I don't believe it!" says the bartender.
So the guy stands on the bar and p**ses all over the place- doesn't fill one glass.
"Ha ha ha!" says the barkeep. "You owe me 50 bucks!"
"That's ok" says the drunk- " I just bet that guy over their $200 I could p**s a all over your bar and make you laugh!"

RCMerchant · February 10, 2021, 03:21:10 AM

What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn't matter what you call him- he ain't coming.

RCMerchant · February 10, 2021, 03:23:20 AM

Why do dwarfs laugh when they run?
The grass tickles their balls.