Musical Failures

[Killer Bees]

As much as it pains me to say it, Tori Amos's Strange Little Girls.

I love it when she takes on other people's songs (Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit is a standout) so I was eagerly awaiting the Tori Treatment.  Alas, I was bitterly disappointed.  The songs were just sh.ite.  The only one that has any redeeming quality to it is her version of Lloyd Cole and the Commotions' "Rattlesnakes".

Okay, I'm ready now to be dragged down into the pits of hell now.

[Psycho Circus]

Kiss' albums from "Lick it up" to "Hot in the Shade" are what I call major failures. On each of these albums, only one or two songs were worth listening to. The rest was just putrid, half-assed, boring, uninspired, unmemorable, lame, cheesy, awful filler. I'm surprised that they managed to survive during the 80's with that crap.

I have to sort of disagree there. I only thought "Asylum" was weak as far as their 80's output was concerned (but I do like that album). I felt that Vinnie Vincent and Bruce Kulick really gave KISS a shot in the arm and put them back on track as a credible rock n' roll machine after the "Elder" debacle and the poor sales from "Creatures Of The Night". I also think Animalize is one of the best albums KISS ever did, certainly their heaviest.

[claws]

As much as it pains me to say it, Tori Amos's Strange Little Girls.

I love it when she takes on other people's songs (Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit is a standout) so I was eagerly awaiting the Tori Treatment.  Alas, I was bitterly disappointed.  The songs were just sh.ite.  The only one that has any redeeming quality to it is her version of Lloyd Cole and the Commotions' "Rattlesnakes".

Okay, I'm ready now to be dragged down into the pits of hell now.

It must have been so bad you posted it twice

As much as it pains me to say this:  Tori Amos's Strange Little Girls.

And not so much "failure" as "massive disappointment".  I thought she would do her usual Tori thing (like she did with her version Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit).  But it was just woeful and I remember feeling very betrayed and let down at the end of the CD.

There was one saving grace though: Rattlesnakes.  It was the closest she came to her usual Tori Magic Touch.

;)

[Flick James]

Well, I've never been big on mainstream music, so I'll throw one out there that a slim majority will probably relate to:



Elvis Costello readily admits this was a horrible album. On the Rykodisc reissue he opens his liner notes with: "Congratulations! You just bought the worst album of my career." Costello's career lagging, he had decided to go with a slicker, trendier, more pop-oriented sound with Punch the Clock, which had given him his first big hit in a while with "Everyday I Write the Book." Continuing in that direction with the same producer, he got this trainwreck of pop wannabe music that tries desperately to fit in with what was trendy in the mid-80's but fails miserably because, that's just not who Elvis Costello has ever been. I mean, it's really a baaaad album.

Fortunately, he would return to his true form two years later with one of his finest albums of all time, the gritty and minimally produced Blood and Chocolate, which would also be the last album he would record with The Attractions for many years.

[Psycho Circus]

There's quite a few disappointing albums I could mention, either ones that came mid-way through an artists career or attempts at comeback records. There's tons, but the one that springs to mind recently is the above album by swedish outfit Hardcore Superstar. Now HCSS are about the only "modern" band I listen to because they have grown in style and stature from album to album over the past decade, and are frankly awesome. Anyone who's into Ratt or has heard of the German band Victory will love them. They raised the bar so high with "Beg For It" in 2009 (one of the best melodic rock albums you will ever hear) that I pre-ordered "Split Your Lip" in a heartbeat. Alas, the horror set in right from track one; bad, uninspired lyrics, basic riffs, poor undynamic song structures, filler and terrible production from top to bottom. This album for me, is a massive step back for the band even though I've noticed many people who are fans raving about how great this record is. It's not.

[diamondwaspvenom]

Kiss' albums from "Lick it up" to "Hot in the Shade" are what I call major failures. On each of these albums, only one or two songs were worth listening to. The rest was just putrid, half-assed, boring, uninspired, unmemorable, lame, cheesy, awful filler. I'm surprised that they managed to survive during the 80's with that crap.

I have to sort of disagree there. I only thought "Asylum" was weak as far as their 80's output was concerned (but I do like that album). I felt that Vinnie Vincent and Bruce Kulick really gave KISS a shot in the arm and put them back on track as a credible rock n' roll machine after the "Elder" debacle and the poor sales from "Creatures Of The Night". I also think Animalize is one of the best albums KISS ever did, certainly their heaviest.

That post was written last year. In the time since then, I've learned to appreciate Kiss' glam albums. Although I'm more forgiving towards them now, I still find them inferior to the band's earlier material.

But, that's just me.

[Psycho Circus]

Obvious choice within the metal genre, I should have thought of it earlier. Saxon try their hand at AOR in 1988 and suck a big fat one. The band had already disappointed UK fans by focusing on the American market and for adopting a more commercial sound, then further alienated everybody with the god-awful "Rock The Nations" LP. "Destiny" is a completely lackluster affair, not even very good if you are able to accept it for it's laid back pop-rock stylings and for not being the usual Saxon metallic riff-fest. The only standout tracks are "Ride Like The Wind", which is a stunning cover of the Christopher Cross tune, and "Red Alert" which is a bit more lively than the other material present. Luckily, Saxon went back to basics in the early 90's (albeit with a slight melodic tinge) and have kept getting heavier as the years have progressed.

[zombie no.one]

the songs on this might be good, or they might suck...it's hard to tell with the production so bad it makes every instrument sound about 50 metres away from the mics, and the bass non existant. the worst ac'dc album by a mile, for this reason IMO

[Allhallowsday]

THE STONES produced Their Satanic Majesties Request themselves.  It's been suggested it was THE STONES revealing a vulnerability, trying to do their own Sgt. Pepper, when in fact THE STONES could never compete with THE BEATLES (except were one to compare labyrinthine mismanagement of both bands and their recorded output).  I liked this album and had it on vinyl, but I doubt I'd listen to it much nowadays.  It is kind of dumb.  
 

Nobody said musical failures can't be fun, or tuneful, but listen to the lyric:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zphAHMPtu4g  

"She comes in colors everywhere!  She combs her hair!"  (But does she wash it?  )
"Have you seen her dressed in BLUE!?    (I don't think so... )  See the sky in front of you!"  

Oo-oo, spooky! PINK FLOYD built their first 6 albums on this kind of creepy crap:  
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drwM5jQvrpU
p.s. Love it.