Recent Viewings, Part 2

[lester1/2jr]

^ that's the one I had too. They must have sold a billion of them.

[Dr. Whom]

Uprising (2024)

From the trailer one would think that it is a martial arts extravaganza set against the background of the Japanese invasion of Korea at the end of the 16th century. It is only partly so. The first half is pretty meandering, with lots of 'and then' and fewer 'therefore'. It is also heavier on social commentary than on action (if this movie is anything to go by, Joseon Korea was a pretty dire place). In the second half, it gets going and delivers more on its promise. Not bad, if you can live with the fact that the first hour is an overlong set up for the second.
If you like extravagant hats, Joseon Korea is the place for you.

[FatFreddysCat]

'Crystal Lake Memories: The Complete History of Friday the 13th" (2013)
Corey "Tommy Jarvis" Feldman narrates this insanely in-depth, massively entertaining two part documentary on the iconic horror franchise, which examines each of the Friday the 13th films (and the mostly-forgotten syndicated TV spinoff) in detail over the course of its six-and-a-half hour (!) run time.
The show is packed to the gills with rare, vintage behind-the-scenes clips and photos, and interviews dozens of actors, crew members, writers, FX technicians, producers, directors, and pretty much everybody who's ever had anything to do with the Friday the 13th saga. An absolute treasure trove of nerdy trivia for fans of the franchise.

[FatFreddysCat]

"Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine" (1965)
A rookie secret agent (Frankie Avalon) stumbles into a plot by mad scientist Dr. Goldfoot (Vincent Price) to steal the hearts and fortunes of the world's wealthiest men with his squadron of female robots. Yes, it's just as silly as it sounds. Price seems to be having fun as the villain, and his scantily clad Fembots provide some nice eye candy, but this slapstick spy spoof wears out its welcome pretty quickly. Skip it.
Followed by a sequel, "Dr. Goldfoot & The Girl Bombs," which is even worse!

[RCMerchant]

OMG BAK: THE THAI WARRIOR (2003)

I haven't seen a good chop socky in a while, and boy- this one is good.
Tony Jaa plays Tien, a disciple of a Thai monk that volenteers for the thankless job of retrieving the head of a holy idol that was stolen from his country village by a coked up gangster. Of course he has taken a sacred vow not to use his fantastic martial arts prowess in doing so, and forgets all that nonsense fairly quickly.
 This harkens back to the old Bruce Lee flicks as he is shown to be a country hick who's pure as the driven snow as he brutally f**ks up the ever increasingly powerful gangsters. Plot is pretty run of the mill, but more than makes up with some truly brutal beat-downs and super fast pacing. Fun movie!



Yep- some shmuck gets wasted by Tien's flaming legs!

[Rev. Powell]

FAMILY PORTRAIT (2023): An extended family has gathered at a lakeside retreat to take the annual Christmas card photo, but one woman notices their mother is missing. Some beautiful shots of Texas hill country, but not much more to enjoy, as this perversely inconclusive enigma doesn't so much leave you hanging about the resolution of its mystery as make you wonder if there is a mystery to contemplate at all. 2/5.

[FatFreddysCat]

"Christmas Bloody Christmas" (2022)
A robot Santa Claus on display in a small town toy store goes haywire and reverts to its old military search-and-destroy program on Christmas Eve. You can probably figure out the rest.
Basically a low budget mash up of "Silent Night Deadly Night" and "The Terminator," this movie takes a little while to kick into gear but once the bodies start dropping, it's a load of sadistic fun. However, the main character is so unlikable that I really wanted something terrible to happen to her. The movie lives up to its title, as the body count is high and the gore effects are splashy and impressive. It's not the worst Christmas themed slasher flick I've ever seen, but I doubt I'll ever sit through it again. 

[Jim H]

Karate Kid 3 - I realized I had never seen this one all the way through somehow.  It's pretty bad.  But still fairly entertaining anyways.  Pat Morita is so damn good as Mr. Miyagi, he elevates even bad scenes.  But wow, the story...  The villain is completely absurd, and it's amusing watching how this basically lays the groundwork for the later seasons of Cobra Kai, which lean into the silliness and handle it much better. 

[FatFreddysCat]

"Deep Rising" (1998)
Mercenaries board a luxury cruise ship in the South China Sea, planning to hijack it and rob its vault - but the passengers and crew have seemingly vanished. They soon find out that the ship has been infested by massive, hungry undersea tentacle monsters, and they'll be next on the menu unless they can get off the rapidly sinking craft in time.
This action packed, aquatic "Aliens" variant is a solid "B" movie, with a great cast incl. Treat Williams and Famke "GoldenEye" Janssen, some cool looking monsters, and a tongue-in-cheek sense of humor. It wasn't a hit when it was released, but it's become a cult item among creature feature fans and director Stephen Sommers went on to do "The Mummy" with Brendan Fraser.

[lester1/2jr]

fatfreddyscat - Dr Goldfoot and the bikini machine is also a great Del Monas song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSGtEbW_P3s

Bird with Crystal Plumage (1970) - Most Italian movies feature Scooby Doo level mysteries. This one is Encyclopedia Brown level, so no wonder it's regarded as a classic. A guy witnesses a murder and decides to involve himself in the process of finding the killer. As always, you get some nice Italian camera work, pretty girls, and a fair amount of blood and violence. It's not brilliant but it's really good. soundtrack by Morricone is the cake's icing.

4.25/ 5

[RCMerchant]

^ I love that movie.

[FatFreddysCat]

"The Taking of Beverly Hills" (1991)
A pro football player (Ken Wahl of TV's "Wiseguy") is inadvertently left behind when his posh Beverly Hills neighborhood is evacuated due to a supposed toxic-chemical spill nearby. He soon learns that the "spill" was a hoax designed to empty out the 90210 so a crew of thieves can swoop in and loot all the rich and famous peoples' homes and businesses. Wahl then teams up with a nerdy local cop (Matt Frewer) to stop the mega-heist.
This ambitious but silly "Die Hard" variant has an interesting premise, but Wahl is no Bruce Willis, and eventually things just devolve into an an endless series of car crashes and explosions.  It's not terrible, but it's not a must-see, either.

[zombie no.one]

^ sounds like it would make a cool double-bill with TERROR IN BEVERLY HILLS (1989) starring Frank Stallone

[M.10rda]

Karate Kid 3 - I realized I had never seen this one all the way through somehow.  It's pretty bad.  But still fairly entertaining anyways.  Pat Morita is so damn good as Mr. Miyagi, he elevates even bad scenes.  But wow, the story...  The villain is completely absurd, and it's amusing watching how this basically lays the groundwork for the later seasons of Cobra Kai, which lean into the silliness and handle it much better. 

I never talk about the hours and hours of "TV" I watch each month w/ Madame when I should preferably be watching movies, but since you mentioned COBRA KAI... yeah, what a cheesy delight that show has been. The plotting and dialogue is soap opera-caliber for the most part and at least once a season something utterly implausible or impossible happens and makes me want to put my boot through my flatscreen....... BUT, the central dynamic between Johnny and Daniel is so compelling (as is the young supporting cast), every once in a while the writing is actually clever and/or profound, and - here's the real "kicker", pun pun - it's endlessly entertaining to watch human beings in routine human conflicts spontaneously start karate-fighting each other. It just never gets old, somehow.    COBRA KAI really is the best possible version of martial arts silliness for and by Americans...

[M.10rda]

BEETLEJUICE BEETLEJUICE (2024):
I think I posted half a review in the "Theatrical Viewing" thread on opening weekend, as I only got to enjoy half of this on the big screen, thanks to the abrupt exit of our ten-year old niece who, rather criminally, was not weaned on grisly R-rated horror films the past 6 or 7 years. Her parents really need to straighten out their priorities... anyway. Though I had a good time w/ the first half, I resisted Madame's suggestion that we go back and pay another $13 each to watch it in its entirety, anticipating that it would likely let us down eventually. In fact I probably could've spent $100+ on BEETLEJUICE BEETLEJUICE (including concessions, oy) and still felt okay about it. Oh well, big hit, they made plenty of money w/o my second trip to the multiplex.

Now streaming in on Max, B-SQUARED takes its sweet time getting no less than 5 (7? 9?) plots in motion in its first fifty minutes, most of which is still worth revisiting for the frequent bizarre highlights. These range from the clever (the entire house shrouded in mourning) to the grotesque (Danny DeVito, who gave his career-best performance in Tim Burton's BATMAN RETURNS, delivering a priceless two minutes) to the singular (a children's chorus singing Jeffrey Jones into the Earth). Although it takes most of that first fifty to reunite Lydia Deetz and Betelgeuse, once they've entered a common orbit the second half of B2 begins to click, clack, and whizz like a frantic Rube Goldberg contraption. It was worth the wait. B2 definitely shows viewers some wild sights towards the end.

If I had one reservation about this sequel months back in the theater that lingered for the first half of this revisit, it would be Michael Keaton. Like the screenplay, it seems to take him a long time to get back up to full Betelgeuse velocity (though to be fair, I myself am finding that I accelerate only very gradually in middle- or post-middle-age...). I think this might be a feature, not a bug (like the bugs that occasionally crawl across Betelgeuse's body) - the Juice does first appear as middle management in bureaucratic limbo, presumably a consequence of the events of the first movie. When he's liberated, we see the hopping, drooling monster we know and love. During the truly gonzo musical climax, Madame abruptly exclaimed "Michael Keaton deserves an Oscar!" She's a much tougher critic than I in many cases, so take her endorsement at face value.

On the other hand, Catherine O'Hara really sincerely probably deserved the 1989 Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress for playing Delia (which went to co-star Geena Davis for THE ACCIDENTAL TOURIST, a film which, unlike the original BEETLEJUICE, no one has watched since 1988). O'Hara's Delia doesn't look like she's aged a day in 35+ years. Let's face it, O'Hara is a national treasure.

And... Winona Ryder. Lydia was the role that made her a star, and still one of the 2 or 3 roles for which she's remembered best. It's risky to return to an early landmark role many decades later. But Lydia is still Lydia, one of my earliest screen crushes... still an acerbic, downbeat Daria Morgendorffer prototype dealing w/ all the same supernatural weirdness and male toxicity, but now as the mother of a teenager daughter, the stakes are higher. Ryder's performance, as w/ the movie as a whole, doesn't feel like a career move or financial gamble... it feels like a natural continuation of the original. It would've been foolish to expect BEETLEJUICE BEETLEJUICE to be as good as its predecessor - what sequel to a classic ever is? Not even ALIENS, definitely not GODFATHER 2. But like those sequels and others, it at least has the decency and dignity to not embarrass its forebear.

4.5/5
...Though I will say, and in my niece's defense, B2 is a darn sight grislier than the first one.