The truly terrible joke thread

[indianasmith]

My friend ate an entire set of Scrabble tiles.

His next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster!

[lester1/2jr]

What did George Washington say to his men before they get on their horses?


"Men, get on your horses"

[Alex]

I read an account of how during the siege of a castle the attackers managed to kill the Duke's eldest son using the only available ammunition, a serf's head, fired from a trebuchet.

It is the first recorded use of a serf-face to heir missile in history.

[RCMerchant]

^ I don't know whether to laugh or sob at that one.    

Why does Jesus enjoy washing dishes?
Because he can blow bubbles through his hands!

[RCMerchant]

Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels!

[RCMerchant]

What doesn't fit in your ass and buzz?

A Soviet made ass buzzer.
I have no clue why I find that so damn funny!

[indianasmith]

I keep asking what LGBTQ stands for, but no one will give me a straight answer.

[Trevor]

I keep asking what LGBTQ stands for, but no one will give me a straight answer.

Being one of those people, I can give you an answer 

[Alex]

Decided to invest some money, so I've bought 55% of the shares in a vampire hunting business.

Now I am the main stakeholder.

[Leah]

Ego and superego walks into a bar. Bartender says I'm gonna need to see some ID.

[indianasmith]

There was a kidnapping in my classroom today!

Fortunately he woke up when the bell rang.

[Trevor]

Decided to invest some money, so I've bought 55% of the shares in a vampire hunting business.

Now I am the main stakeholder.

That was painful 

[Trevor]

There was a kidnapping in my classroom today!

Fortunately he woke up when the bell rang.

Oy 

[Alex]

The police have dusted Chris Rock's face.

They found Fresh Prints.

[Trevor]

The police have dusted Chris Rock's face.

They found Fresh Prints.

Oy...........