THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM BAD MOVIES.

[Jack]

You are expected to run ahead of the giant monster...directly in it's path...where it is walking.

Same if someone's chasing you in a car - always remain in the center of the street, never go behind a tree or a parked car.

[Josso]

If you hit the back of a car on a surface street you will spin and flip in the air like a badass

[LilCerberus]

From anything made before Jane Goodall was born...
Vampires & gorillas have a few things in common!

[LilCerberus]

A seven foot long, four foot wide, six foot deep grave can be exhumed with minimal effort in about ten minutes.

[alandhopewell]

     Experts on vampirism who provide employment / shelter for victims of vampires NEVER suspect that said individual just might l be working for the monster.

[LilCerberus]

While chemotherapy tends to cause one's scalp to go nekkid, it has absolutely no effect on one's eyebrows or other body hair.

[Jack]

From Age of Tomorrow:

When the military builds a billion dollar spaceship, they don't actually train anyone to fly it.  If you need to use it, you take a half-hour class.

Even though aliens are impervious to sustained assault rifle fire, that doesn't mean that an axe thrown by a main character won't kill them easily.

A general who sits behind a desk all day gets to fly billion dollar spaceships into combat.  'Cause he's a general.  And it only takes a half-hour to learn.

[LilCerberus]

The Bowie Knife existed long before Jim Bowie was even born.
_____________________

The nightmare of drug addiction is all about wanting a Twinkie at an awkward moment.

[LilCerberus]

When one has a single cybernetic hand capable of superhuman strength, then the ratios of strength, leverage, foundation, etc. from the elbow to the shoulder, hips, legs, feet, etc, become totally irrelevant when needing to perform tasks such as stop a moving car, rip a solid steel door from it's hinges or bend a firearm in half using both your cybernetic and non-cybernetic hands...

[AoTFan]

There's a cliche that people never cough, sneeze, or show any signs that they are in anything less than perfect health and a corollary that says that coughing is always the sign of a fatal disease.

But I would add this: sneezing is a sign of someone with allergies.  And everyone with allergies is always some wussy, nerdy guy (usually with an inhaler) who will then complain about said allergies throughout the movie (if it's a comedy/80s adventure) or until he gets killed (if it's a horror movie).  

Off screen hero teleportation.  We've seen this with serial killers, how they can just suddenly "appear" someplace ahead of the victim even though they've been walking at a leisurely pace compared to the victim's full speed boogie, but this also works in reverse as well.  Often the heroes will be hiding somewhere, say, in a closet, when the bad guy will enter the room.  We cut to the heroes looking scared, bad guy looking around, bad guy leaving, then bad guy suddenly reappearing and checking the very space the heroes are in only for us to see the heroes have somehow teleported to another hiding spot.  

[AoTFan]

The Feeding.

A black guy can still die in the climactic scene where nobody else is supposed to die.

There's a type of werewolf that can change at will.

If a black guy dies all he will say is "damn."

Don't you mean while he's dying?  I don't think anyone, black or white, can say much after they're dead.   

[Ticonderoga 64]

Female Martians need human men and dress like the vintage S & M catalogues...(DEVIL-GIRL FROM MARS)

Male Martians need human women and wear wetsuits..(MARS NEEDS WOMEN)

Martians that look like Timmy the Tooth catch colds..(WAR OF THE WORLDS)

Mars has a rat/bat/spider problem(ANGRY RED PLANET)

Some Martians have resorted to savagery(IT! THE TERROR FROM BEYOND SPACE)

Martians apparently do not like Santa Claus(SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS)

Mars not only has a yellow road like Oz does but a wizard in residence as well..(THE WIZARD OF MARS)

[alandhopewell]

     If someone (especially a woman) is being chased by a bad guy in a movie, all they have to do is get to the nearest corner, turn the corner, flatten themselves against the wall, and the bad guy will go right by them, never seeing them.

     (Ever try it in real life? Don't work.)

[Ticonderoga 64]

PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE

Bela Lugosi gets run down by car without leaving his front lawn..

Dudley Manlove as the alien leader has his own desk aboard the mothership..

It's both night & day simultaneously in the graveyard where the aliens get their dead subjects..

The dead guy with the cape has to keep adjusting it even when he's attacking someone..

The aliens have drapes and use wooden tables aboard their spaceship...

Apparently the cemetery has discovered transdimensional engineering as one of their tombs that is the size of a phone booth seems to hold at least a body and several people as well..

Aliens wear tights..and female aliens look good while doing so..

[Ticonderoga 64]

THE INCREDIBLE MELTING MAN(1977)

The space program uses a medical center which also doubles as a storage facility..

The rather large nurse runs straight through a plate glass door and suffers not the slightest cut..

A severed human head can float for hours down a river without sinking...

The local sheriff cannot seem to distinguish between a frozen turkey leg and human body parts..

Elderly couples like to play delinquent  and steal fruits from an orchard in the dark of night...

The Melting Man gets STRONGER as he melts even though he loses more and more bits of himself..

Headless bodies dont seem to distress the local police too much, in fact, no one bothers to look for the missing head..

Pornographers also moonlight as paparazzi in this area it seems..