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Volcano

Started by Ernst Bitterman, November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM

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Ernst Bitterman

I just had another thought while idling through the remarks above, and it was prompted by:

"...wiping out a subway system and, what, three blocks of LA? Whoopee..."

D'ya suppose there was any ulterior motive behind the threat being so closely linked with the subway system? I have this terrible image of some corporate liason meeting, and a flack from GM saying as he unwraps a wad of bills, "Hey, whatever it costs, as long as it makes people afraid of public transport, ESPECIALLY in California.  Mebbe we can get, wussisname, Tommy Chong Jones? He's always good."

chadzilla

I paid money to see this in the theater and never regretted it once.  Delightfully goofy disaster flick.  The clip is a hoot, if you were really that close to an eruption I think you'd be burnt to a crisp!  Only thing missing is George Kennedy or Ernest Borgnine.  They may not make 'em like they used to, but Volcano will do in a pinch.  Three slimes seems about right for this baby.

Squishy

I admit it freely: I'm a movie weeper. The kind of guy who starts dripping off the cheeks at the sound of violins. I wept like a little girl during "Deep Impact," even while the side of my brain my testes are attached to was saying "What a huge, steaming, stinking pile of blatantly manipulative drivel."

That said, even the most, um, heartfelt moments of "Volcano" left me enraged and colicky. All the moralizing, all the emotional moments--they're even phonier than the Day-Glo lava (on loan, apparently, from "Congo," wiping out a subway system and, what, three blocks of LA? Whoopee). Even the bit where Obler nobly sacrifices himself to save a very fat complete stranger, as shocking as it may initially be, becomes so completely bogus that one has to assume that the whole movie is deliberately symbolic of the stereotype of LA itself--100% silicone, no real ingredients. Not a moment's suspense, not even a decent cheap thrill.

The only effective thing related to this piece of molten crud were the trailers, which were relative masterpieces. Wow, and I thought "City On Fire" was awful...

Lostmissy

How can a movie with Tommy Lee Jones and Anne Heche be so so (let me repeat for emphasis) so bad ?

Hyperion X

I first saw this movie on one of the cable movie channels. I think it was Cinemax. One of the things that I liked about it was that dog. You know. The one in the house that is being chased by lava? Well, for some reason, when the dog got to its master, I started thinking of the Church's Chicken Commercials with that old woman with the huge grey afro? Looks like she shaved that dog's fro off. Well, anyway, the real thing I hated was Tommy. The whole time I just kept saying, "Please get crushed or burned, PLEASE!" I'm okay with some little kid characters in movies, but this kid I just wanted to beat on the head with a large hammer. GOD! It felt good to say that. In short, the movie is bad, but you can live through it, but the kid sucks. There. I said it. Oh, make sure you have plenty of things to throw against a wall.

Ernst Bitterman

I can't disagree with any of the above statements, but would add a caveat for Pseudovulcanologists-- as bad as it is, it doesn't stink anywhere near as foul as DANTE'S PEAK.  Woosh.  This one's at least fun.

pred19

Well, it was better than 'Dante's Peak' although there are some blaring plotholes and a typical stupid romantic interest subplot (the single dad and the sassy young scientist)

I felt bad for the girl in glasses, though.

dopey

:/ pretty messed up movie very obvious mistakes in there like the concrete barriers and the lava. choppers cant fly in volcanic ash cause it will jam the turbines and crash the chopper, the steam comming off the lava that they dumped water on would have burned them all fatally. and it makes u wonder if the subway car driver is an idiot just gawking at the lava i think that it is pretty strange that no doors or windows would open i mean there has to be an alternate way out like the roof or something and how come he didnt pass out like the rest of them.the guy jumping from the train just looked really stupid i think actually kinda funny in my view. i dont think digging subway tunnels would cause an earthquake and serious volcano thats just as stupid as that movie called Storm Chasers: Revenge of the Twister in which the clear cutting of a forest to make room for a military base caused a serious storm and tornado. people just tryin to promote there silly ideas these days.

Ace 1 Again

Not one review was right on:
   1)After 911...people of various races,religions,& cultures came together for an emergency.
   2)There was more than 1 person on the ladder,& it was extended horrizontal...not verticle like it was designed.
   3)I have survived in 100+ temperatures too.
   4)Looters will pretty much steal anything not nailed down...don't you watch TruT.V.?
   5)Cars don't expload with a touch...or even a bullet...in real life.
   6)There was no prejudaces after the rain?
   7)You don't have to be a genius to be O.E.M....just quick thinking.
   8)He didn't telepathicaly figure out to drop the building...he saw the reflection in the car window.

NEXT TIME TRY WATCHING THE MOVIE FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

rock (haha lava)

We watched this in Geography class to point out all the geographical inconsistencies. We had to write a review on how Volcano was completely absurd and none of it could happen in real life. First of all, volcanoes usually form on convergent plate boundaries where subduction occurs and there is an excess of lava. LA is on a fault line, a volcano will not form there. Second of all, all the main characters would be dead in the first 15 minutes of the movie. I laughed the entire time.

Billneye

Since you want to mention the "annoying black guy" don't forget to mention the racist for no reason cop!