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What three women (or men) would you hire to wash cars in their swimwear if you knew a homicidal maniac was on the loose? Would you go for a kicking butt team with the likes of Linda Hamilton, Cynthia Rothrock, and Gina Carano? Or would you go the "fun bunnies" route and pick girls who might be fodder, but would be fun to watch as they tried to run away? Imagine a horror film with Annette Funicello, Jenny McCarthy, and Betty Page.

Click here for more information (http://www.badmovies.org/sideshows/contests/contest_200811.html)

(http://www.badmovies.org/sideshows/contests/images/bikinibloodbathcar.jpg)

So, who are your three?

I would pass on the butt kickers and have to go with bad movie eye candy. Hopping into the Not-So-Way-Back I'd pluck 1984 Barbara Crampton, 1988 Linnea Quigley, and 2000 Tiffany Shepis as my trio of bloodbathing bikini car washers.  :buggedout:

Off the top of my head those three chicks from that Girls Next Door show on E!  I figure that would have to end well for everyone.

I'll second Linnea Quigley--the role was made for her!

I'll add Jayne Mansfield and Mamie Van Doren in their prime to the mix.

Now I know why I haven't won one of these free DVD contests before.  The Fates have been saving my winning entry for BIKINI BLOODBATH CARWASH!   

Hmm classic butt-kicking women? How can you go wrong with Pam Grier (Foxy Brown, Coffy), Jeanne Bell (TNT Jackson, Three the Hard Way) and Tamara Dobson (Cleopatra Jones)??

Jenna Jameson (of about 5 years ago), Sophie Marceau and Pam Grier (from 1972).  Guess Who be the one to kick the Butt of slasher?
And I'd have Ron Jeremy play the slasher for the humor.

Anne Hathaway, Angelina Jolie, and Cameron Diaz . . .

and the slasher would be David Carradine circa 1990 or so.

And Bruce Campbell would play me.

I would say Morticia Addams,Elvira and Medusa. It is a horror movie after all. Be afraid,very afraid.

Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty and Betty White.  Simply because if there was ever hoping girls in bikinis would die and get off the screen, those three would fit the bill. 

There are only 3 women who can possibly do the job are:
Mary Tyler Moorre (circa The Dick Van Dyke Show)
Diane Lane (circa The Cotton Club)
Catherine Denue (circa The Umbrellas of Cherbourg)

I'll pick three women that are still working (and looking hot today):

Asia Argento
Rose McGowan
Milla Jovovich


If were shot in the 60's:

Julie Ege
Barbara Steele
Tura Satana

Emily Booth, Elvira and an 80's Linda Blair, all washing a 1978 Pontiac Trans-Am. I think they're a damn fine mix of butt-kickers and eye-candy  :teddyr:

Lana Clarkson (RIP)
Barbara Crampton
Elizabeth Kaitan

Able to kick butt and look sexy.

If you must have the girls win, then you have to have (in their prime) Barbara Steele, Beverly Garland, and Tura Satana.

But if you want a movie for which the audience will actually send you money to thank you for disposing of these people, you need to have Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, and Tyra Banks.

I also think you could gender-bend it and have the victims be (in their prime):  Lyle Waggoner, Richard Simmmons (okay, he never had a prime; they can use CGI), and Mickey Rourke.  Ift Mickey won't do it or no longe ris allowed to make legal decisions, then Ben Affleck.

Id throw in 2 "Fun bunnies"  (Lindsay lohan and andy dick) as you so well put it, and 1 hero chick. (any given transvestite that walks around in my city.)

 :twirl: This contest is great

Ronda Shear (suggested swim ware - french cut bottom with campy white muscle shirt)
Jewel Shepherd (suggested swim ware - thong and half shirt)
Elvira (suggested swim ware - Vamp one piece with thong back)



Not much analysis for these selections, they should speak for themselves.  :cheers:

My choices:

Jewel Staite
Rose McGowan
Elvira (in her prime)

Jewel would be the sweet and innocent one who has a complete breakdown, Rose would take charge and kick ass, and Elvira would show as much skin as possible while making awful jokes as a defense mechanism against the horrors she witnesses. 

Three early 2000s Porn Starlets...


Scarlet
Dawn Divine
Ashley Shye

God Bless 'em...

What 3 women would I hire to wash my truck in a bikini whilst a killer is on the loose....

hmmm ....

1. Julia Strain (circa 1980's and 90's)
2. Dita Von Teese (circa 1990's and 2000's)
3. Tempest Storm (circa 1950's)

Camilla Parker Bowles
Roseanne
Margaret Thatcher.

:buggedout: :buggedout: :buggedout:

Quote from: Trevor on November 10, 2008, 01:56:04 AM
Camilla Parker Bowles
Roseanne
Margaret Thatcher.

:buggedout: :buggedout: :buggedout:

Dear Me!  :bluesad:

Here's mine:

1) Zoe Belle: She's tough as heck (she's a stuntwoman after all), has studies Tae Kwon Do, and is pretty hot. The accent helps, and (at least in Death Proof), she's a gearhead. I think I love her.

2) Rosie O'Donnel: First, I believe she could b!tch the maniac to death relatively easy. Second, maybe, just maybe, she'll see how a gun could have come in handy right about the time she was attacked. Third, she'd be easy to HIDE BEHIND, and Fourth, I just don't like her. 

3) "Pneumatic" Pamela Anderson: Only because I believe her inflatable parts could be used as weapons. I believe that those are under so much pressure, that once she was attacked and one was damaged, the explosion would destroy the maniac. Just make sure she gets it before you do and stand clear. Fortunately, THOSE are big enough to see and admire from far beyond their blast radius.

Email entry from JmeMadRoxx

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1) misty mundae   
2) debbie rochon
3) danielle harris

Email entry from Jeremy Scully:

Quote

Dream Team for movie!

1) Sandra Bullock (Her dying brutally would make my day)

2) Dakota Fanning (Cause she's that damn creepy and annoying)

3) Traci Lords (Cause why not?)

1) Missy Peregrym (Stick It) for the bratty-punky girl.  She might whine and complain, but she'll put up a fight for before the killer can get her.

2) Kristen Bell (Veronica Mars, Forgetting Sarah Marshal) who can pull off being both obviously scared/freaked and tough as nails/if i keep my witts, I'll make it through this splatterhouse.

3) Summer Glau (Firefly, Sarah Conner Chronicles) for the small, innoncent-looking girl who happens to be the one who actually thrashes the killer just when he thinks he's got the upper hand.

I would put Jewel Staite in as their fun-loving, sweeter-than-honey boss who is always surprised by how men get their cars so dirty so quickly (these guys keep coming back day after day to the car wash - must be because the girls do such a good job cleaning the cars!).  She manages the opperation during the day and assists with the washing (mainly cause I just want to see her in a bikini washing a car :buggedout:), isn't there when the killing starts (wouldn't want anything to happen to her), and appears right at the end when the killer's caught to proclaim some impressive, naive understantment (which results in everyone rolling their eyes, sighing, and/or collapsing).

Great.  Thanks to this contest, I've come up with a movie I really want to watch!

Quote from: Jaer on November 12, 2008, 03:52:03 PM

3) Summer Glau (Firefly, Sarah Conner Chronicles) for the small, innoncent-looking girl who happens to be the one who actually thrashes the killer just when he thinks he's got the upper hand.

Good call, , virtual Karma for that. ..

Make the movie circa 1980 and feature Loni Anderson, Erin Gray and Catherine Bach.

How about Charlie's Angels:

Lucy Liu
Drew Barrymore
Cameron Diaz

And Charlie could be the killer!

A good mix of butt kicking eye-candy hmmmmm.

o.k.   Traci Lords as in 'Not of This Earth', Emily Booth as in 'Pervirella' and Caroline Munro as in 'Starcrash'.

I love them all and three of my favourite movies.

Perhaps Monique Gabrielle standing by just in case(great in a bikini!)

well, Christina Ricci, Rachel Ray and Paulie Parret (I think I spelled all their names correctly)
Hope I win, would be a great b-day gift lol

Here are my 3 ladies (very inspired bit of casting, if I do say)

Stormy Daniels
Alexis Texas
Victoria Beckham


Here is how its gonna go down


After a run of bad luck, Bunny Romero and her life-partner Suzy Banyon are about to be evicted from their home on peaceful, Lampkin Lane on the first of November.

Bunny (Stormy Daniels) lost her job working on a horror movie set after playing a practical joke on an intern. It seems the poor kid went nustso after discovering he had been making out with a freshly dug up corpse. Some people just can't take a joke.

Suzy (Alexis Texas) quit her job working at an ancient, mystical books library, where she may or may not have seen the identity of a black gloved killer who murdered a student with an electric guillotine - or maybe it was the student's helper monkey....hmmm.


Things are looking up however. Bunny's distant aunt Lauren, and her husband Wade were involved in a head on collision with a giant unmanned bulldozer while touring the site of a meteor impact. Wade burned to death, leaving Lauren to run the carwash business by herself.

Lauren (Victoria Beckham), up to her thighs in debt, decides to hire Bunny and Suzy to boost business. It doesn't take long before stuck up Lauren shows her disapproval for Bunny and Suzy's lifestyle and their graphic displays of affection. She also finds the girls naked windshield washing techniques to be sinful. If the lord wanted you to wash windows with your butt or your boobs, then you would have sponges on them!

Things go from bad to worse when a psycho-sexual killer turns up knocking off the regular patrons, as well as most of the guests at Bunny and Suzy's anti-prop 8 slumber party/political rally.

Can it be the nutso intern, the black gloved killer, or is it the helper monkey? Will Suzy and Bunny's sizeable talents be put to the test as they try to track down this psycho-sexual killer.

---spoilers---
It was none of them. The intern died while in the asylum (the documentation was just misplaced). The helper monkey (named link) now works with a scientist and a cute blonde in the middle of nowhere and things are just fine. The black gloved killer was just a figment of Suzy's imagination created by a sexually repressed childhood where her parents were cannibals.

It is revealed in the shocking ending that Lauren...NO...Wade is the killer! Lauren was the one who burned to death in the car accident. Wade underwent plastic surgery to fulfill his lifelong dream of looking like a plastic mannequin and assumed his dead wife's identity. This revelation comes as Lauren/Wade exposes her completely naked body to Suzy revealing inflated fake boobs and a penis all while poor Suzy tries to administer the kiss of life to her unconscious soul-mate Bunny. In a naked, hand-to-hand battle worthy of the Matrix, Suzy defeats the insane Wade using her patented finishing move - the butt-smother.

Sweet.

Just in time for Halloween, Bunny and Suzy can enjoy their sexual freedom while living debt free back in their home on Lampkin Lane. Happily ever after.

:buggedout:

A difficult decision. But in the end, only these three women could make the cut.

(http://www.showbizz.net/uploads/stars/AmyAdams.JPG)

Amy Adams. "Who?" you ask. What do you care? Look at the photo: she's a fox. (She was in the Office. And... a terrible movie, called Cruel Intentions 2 which would fit in nicely in the pantheon of bad movies reviewed on this site [/hint].

The redhead from t.A.T.U, just because she's astoundingly good-looking. [possibly "nsfw" pic below]

Quote

Moderator's note:  Pic removed.  Do not post nudity.

She can even sing, I wouldn't care.

And it occurred to me: With gorgeous women in bikinis washing my car, the last thing I want to worry about is a homicidal mental patient.

So, to kick the escaped serial killer's head in...

(http://afm.infinit.net/chro/commu/yuko.jpg)

Yûko Moriyama

Things I learned from imagining this nonexistent movie.

The deranged killer may be able to smash his way through locked closet doors, but he'll have no idea what hit him when Yûko Moriyama traps him in a giant crystal.

Quote from: mritt on November 13, 2008, 10:10:45 PM
Here are my 3 ladies (very inspired bit of casting, if I do say)

Stormy Daniels
Alexis Texas
Victoria Beckham


Here is how its gonna go down


After a run of bad luck, Bunny Romero and her life-partner Suzy Banyon are about to be evicted from their home on peaceful, Lampkin Lane on the first of November.

Bunny (Stormy Daniels) lost her job working on a horror movie set after playing a practical joke on an intern. It seems the poor kid went nustso after discovering he had been making out with a freshly dug up corpse. Some people just can't take a joke.

:buggedout:

What? why go nutso after discovering it's a corpse you've been making out with?  I mean, c'mon people, haven't we all been there?

QuoteWhat? why go nutso after discovering it's a corpse you've been making out with?  I mean, c'mon people, haven't we all been there?

I can just picture my dad, doing his best Rodney Dangerfield.

I've been waking up next to a corpse for forty years.
Together with her 2 sisters and her mother, its like living with the feminist version of the 4 horseman of the apocalypse.
I get no respect.
:bouncegiggle:

Originally posted in the wrong thread.  Also, removed potentially offensive language.

Quote from: onefuncapt on November 18, 2008, 09:58:44 PM
My three would be Oprah Winfrey, Martha Stewartand that Hasselhoff from The View. To see them all in bikinis then ripped to shreds would just really make my day!!!

From onefuncapt (http://www.badmovies.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=2460).

I'm going to go with a First Ladies motif, nothing hotter than a lady who commands dull symbolic power. Plus they boned a national leader, that's got to be worth something.

1. Claudia Taylor "Lady Bird" Johnson

(http://cache.daylife.com/imageserve/0fL83pK4478Fa/340x.jpg)

2. Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy

(http://z.about.com/d/womenshistory/1/7/z/I/jackie_kennedy.jpg)

3. Mary Todd Lincoln (only because her resemblance to Curly makes me chuckle so.)

(http://library.thinkquest.org/TQ0312172/mary%20lincoln.jpg)

PM me if you have any nudes of any of those three, OK wanderarbeiter?

There actually are pics of Jackie-O naked online. I saw some on fatboy.cc (http://www.fatboy.cc/). I'd fish 'em up for you myself and link them, but I've already offended the webmaster once, so I'm giving him a break.

Email entry for Anthony O:

Quote

I'd go with Amy Jo Johnson (Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Faye
Dunaway (Chinatown, Network), and Ziyi Zhang (Hero, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon).

Possible teams: 1. Pam Grier, Misty Mundae and Brandon Merrill (because it's about time she did her second film).
                      2. Rosario Dawson, Darian Caine and Ana de la Reguera
                      3. Gabrielle Union, Aurora Snow and Salma Hayek
                      4. Rae Dawn Chong, Lissa Layng and Sandra Oh
                      5. Jaime Pressley, Thora Birch and Julliette Lewis
                      6. Kristen Wilson, Felissa Rose and Katharine Isabelle
                      7. Joey Adams, Katharine Isabelle and Sydney Poitier
                      8. Stephanie Fondue, Bitty Schram and Uma Thurman
                      9. A.J. Khan (before she altered her breasts), Rane Revere and Vanessa Ferlito
                     10. Anna Faris, Zoe Bell and Patricia Arquette
                     11. Angela Bassett, Etsuko Shihomi and Fairuza Balk
                            all in their prime (a lot of them still are).
I understand they're from different times, but mixing and matching these will make a badass team. The names kept coming into my head and I couldn't choose between three. I apologize.

P.S. I almost forgot Bridgette Wilson, Robin Tunney and Sarah Silverman (because it's about time she gave horror a shot).

Without question I would want:

Nancy Reagan

Elisha Cuthbert

and

Terri Shiavo.


That is a dream come true.

Lindsey Lohan, Britney Spears and Paris Hilton  get my vote.
sounds like a party to me!!!!

Lucy Lawless, Monique Gabrielle and Suze Orman. I hear ol' Suze isn't too quick in the 40 yard dash.

(http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee71/HammockRider/lucy07.jpg)

(http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee71/HammockRider/monique-gabrielle-009.jpg)

(http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee71/HammockRider/SuzeOrmanPic.jpg)

This is almost too easy:

Paris Hilton
Lindsay Lohan
Carrie Underwood

some special effects casting.

1) Jessica Rabbit
2) Betty Boop
3) Bugs Bunny... but in drag.

The 2 rabbits in this list are quite caniving, and don't discount Betty, she may seem innocent, but it's just an act

Quote from: AndyC on November 12, 2008, 07:15:16 PM
Make the movie circa 1980 and feature Loni Anderson, Erin Gray and Catherine Bach.

:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: Yes, yes, yes!  :cheers:

Please give AndyC the DVD, Andrew!

Quote from: Trevor on November 10, 2008, 01:56:04 AM
Camilla Parker Bowles
Roseanne
Margaret Thatcher.

rotflmao....now that is a bikini movie that would be memorable.  I would need trauma counseling to get the images from my head. 

Drew Barrymore
Summer Glau
Jamie Lee Curtis*

* I can not decide between 80's or circa True Lies either would work for me. So to have my cake and eat it too 1980's Jamie is being chased by the killer and True Lies Jamie comes from the future to save her. 

The killer would be Heidi Fleiss. 
 

Halle Berry
Michelle Yeoh
Sarah Michelle Gellar

If I could have any three people be vaccuous Car Wash bunnies, I would go with Tia Carrere as the ditzy friend (she's working there because her dead-beat hard-rocking boyfriend played by Brad Dourif can't keep a job and she needs Ramen noodles and pot to live on), Vanity as the hot, smart friend (she's struggling to pay for her tuition into Vassar that the car wash gig is somehow going to pay for), and June Chadwick (Jeanine from Spinal Tap!) as the Final Girl (She meets the guy of her dreams while washing his car, only to see him eviscerated horribly on the hood of his '58 Bonneville by a man credited only as 'The Maniac' or 'Killer Mack' while a cheap independent derivative of 'Eyes Without A Face' plays on the soundtrack). A little too specific, or not specific enough? I dunno...

Quote from: Rat-Bat-Spider on December 02, 2008, 12:49:19 AM
If I could have any three people be vaccuous Car Wash bunnies, I would go with Tia Carrere as the ditzy friend (she's working there because her dead-beat hard-rocking boyfriend played by Brad Dourif can't keep a job and she needs Ramen noodles and pot to live on), Vanity as the hot, smart friend (she's struggling to pay for her tuition into Vassar that the car wash gig is somehow going to pay for), and June Chadwick (Jeanine from Spinal Tap!) as the Final Girl (She meets the guy of her dreams while washing his car, only to see him eviscerated horribly on the hood of his '58 Bonneville by a man credited only as 'The Maniac' or 'Killer Mack' while a cheap independent derivative of 'Eyes Without A Face' plays on the soundtrack). A little too specific, or not specific enough? I dunno...

I am sorry that this did not make the deadline (30 November 2008) for entries, but it's a neat team-up.  We had quite a few interesting teams.  Some of them I am sure that the person creating the trio was intending for all three of the people to become victims.

Yeah, I kinda figured I was late, but the question was just so interesting I couldn't keep my two cents in my pocket. Where else on earth do you get a query like that besides this website? :smile: Thanks for even taking the time to let me know I was late, though. I appreciate it!

After creating the list and running the random number, here are the three winners:

judy brittle
"I would say Morticia Addams, Elvira and Medusa. It is a horror movie after all. Be afraid,very afraid."

Dead by Don
"I'll pick three women that are still working (and looking hot today):  Asia Argento, Rose McGowan, Milla Jovovich.  If were shot in the 60's: Julie Ege, Barbara Steele, Tura Satana."

Sean
"Lindsey Lohan, Britney Spears and Paris Hilton  get my vote.  Sounds like a party to me!!!!"

Emails will be going out in just a few minutes.  Please check your mailbox and reply back, and congratulations!

swede i can't wait to get the goods   :cheers:

thanks- don

Quote from: Dead by Don on December 02, 2008, 09:30:13 PM
swede i can't wait to get the goods   :cheers:

thanks- don

You just happened to speak the magic words: 
"Milla Jovovich"   :tongueout:

Quote from: Ash on December 03, 2008, 07:08:29 PM

Quote from: Dead by Don on December 02, 2008, 09:30:13 PM
swede i can't wait to get the goods   :cheers:

thanks- don

You just happened to speak the magic words: 
"Milla Jovovich"   :tongueout:

what avater is that, ash?

Quote from: KYGOTC on December 05, 2008, 09:11:26 AM

Quote from: Ash on December 03, 2008, 07:08:29 PM

Quote from: Dead by Don on December 02, 2008, 09:30:13 PM
swede i can't wait to get the goods   :cheers:

thanks- don

You just happened to speak the magic words: 
"Milla Jovovich"   :tongueout:

what avater is that, ash?

Do you watch Heroes?  It's a painting by one of the caracters on the show, which predicted the future, and in the future a guy creates a large nuclear explosion in the middle of New York.  It's a lame power if you're not evil to kill thousands of people.

WARNING SPOILERS!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DDP2p_HLP4Y&feature=related