BADMOVIES.ORG AUDIO PODCAST
" Diamonds of Kilimandjaro Movie Review
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I do not think that this movie ever had a script. Jess Franco took his crew to Africa, filmed various "jungle adventure" bits, shot a death scene for every character, and then returned to civilization to edit the whole mess into a reasonable semblance of a movie.
The amusing thing was that I recognized this movie as a Jess Franco movie, just because of a silly shot of a monkey.
"The monkey sits there for a good fifteen, twenty seconds - enough time for me to go, 'Okay, why the monkey?'"
"If you're watching a movie, and all of the sudden there's some shot that lasts ten, fifteen, twenty seconds - which is longer than it probably should've - and you are wondering, 'What the heck is up with this shot? Why did I have to see this?' Start suspecting Mr. Franco."
"Her hips, her thighs, and even her crotch all look like they belong on a Lego person. How is that ergonomic?"
"He's more interested in eating the watermelon she gave him, than the fact that this young woman is throwing herself at him."
Something to watch for: The amazing changing scotch bottle!
Lesson Learned: Accepting the position of "Tuberculosis Poster Girl" is lucrative, but overall...a bad choice.
Notes and Links
If you have not seen it already, a Capsule Review was posted earlier this week.
This movie was part of a set, the "Jungle Girls Triple Feature." My favorite is "Golden Temple Amazons." Both films share some plot ideas, such as the (topless) female Tarzan character and a violent tribe.
Hey Andrew... Do you have a pic of Lego Crotch Girl we can see?
I'm afraid that Frau Blockencrotch didn't make it into the captures, but just imagine a woman's hips - then square everything off, including the mons pubis. She appeared naked in one scene (well, more than one scene) and I did a double take.
The 3-DVD is by Shriek Show. They have put out several of them, and they are great values. The sets are under $20 and the quality of the DVDs is pretty darn good. Surprisingly good, when you get down to it.
Reply #6. Posted on January 28, 2008, 08:46:21 PM by Patient7
Amazing, the first movie podcast and my mom's within listening distance when Andrew uses the term "Random Gratuitous Breast Shot", still a great podcast, keep 'em coming.
Reply #7. Posted on February 08, 2008, 10:30:42 PM by Scott
Here's a little podcast response for DIAMONDS OF KILIMANDJARO. The audio may be a bit of skipping and fuzziness, but I'm working on getting the bugs out.
Here's a little podcast response for DIAMONDS OF KILIMANDJARO. The audio may be a bit of skipping and fuzziness, but I'm working on getting the bugs out.
[Edit] Might have to wait a bit for it to load. Will try to compress file better next time.
MP3 will give you a big reduction in size. I am currently using 128 kBits/s on a 44,100 Hz, 16 bit, stereo file and ten minutes of recording comes out to about 10 MB.
Oh boy, I have to disagree with you about "Oasis of the Zombies." Though I give both films a single slime, I've often considered dropping Oasis to a skull, while "Diamonds of Kilimandjaro" flirted with two slimes.
Earth is visited by a GIANT ANTIMATTER SPACE BUZZARD! Gawk at the amazingly bad bird puppet, or chuckle over the silly dialog. This is one of the greatest b-movies ever made.
Lesson Learned:
Osmosis: os·mo·sis (oz-mo'sis, os-) n., 1. When a bird eats something.
I must say, Leggo crotch girl has me intrigued. I'll have to pick up this three pack you speak of.
