ALIEN PREY
- 
|
| Rated R
| | Copyright 1984 Tymar Film Productions.
| | Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'
|
|
- Anders Anderson - Alien scout, his real name is Kator.
- Jessica - Bisexual, rather codependent, who runs around in transparent clothes. Anders eats her after sex (literally).
- Joe - Jessica's jealous lesbian lover, she is munched by Anders.
- Simon - Jessica's previous boyfriend who we gather was killed by Joe.
- Wally - Jessica's parrot. I know, but I'm dying for characters here! Is eaten by Anders.
- Two cops who wander through - Eaten by Anders.
- The Fox - Wrongly blamed for eating the chickens (guess who ate them). Eaten by Anders.
|
| | |
|
| This movie is bloody bad I tell you, no wonder England lost the War of Independence. Yes this film has changed history, Einstein never thought of it but the closer a country is to a movie of this foulness the harder it is for them to win a war (EMC+Alien Dead/vampire fangs=total crap). These two lesbians are living together (Of course only one is attractive, the other looks like a man baby!) in the backwoods when a alien scout lands on Earth. Alien scout might be a little misleading, it's this skinny British guy who sometimes transforms into a skinny British guy wearing vampire teeth. Despite Jessica's gratiutous nudity the plot drags on and on... ...and that damn scene where Anders is drowning in slow motion! Of course there is a stirring sub plot involving Joe killing anyone showing romantic interest in her woman, which lays groundwork for Anders' and Jessica's sex scene. Unfortunately he gets a little too excited and rips her neck out, not unusual considering the fact that he eats every other character including the parrot! This is a painful film, keep away from children at all costs. |
|
| Things I Learned From This Movie: | |
|
- Feral alien things are balked by flimsy doors if they're locked.
- Blindly chucking a log into the thicket will hit your target every time.
- The Brits have made more mistakes than just America.
- Aliens are completely obsessed with parrots.
- Kicking dead chickens for being dead is rather unproductive.
- Partys should be held for good reasons, killing a fox is not among them.
- Grown men and women play hide-n-seek.
- Spacefaring alien races have no idea what water is.
|
|
- 6 mins - What the heck made a ripping sound?
- 14 mins - He's limping so she wants to offer him water, how about a crutch you moron?
- 23 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
- 28 mins - Not the best way to compliment her cooking, gagging and throwing it up...
- 35 mins - Lesbian scene! Okay, now change the angle. Get some more light in here!
- 50 mins - Clear and non-bubbling Champagne huh?
- 60 mins - Jessica doesn't notice Joe is holding that huge knife?
- 68 mins - Anders is drowning in two feet of water?
|
| | Audio clips in wav format | SOUNDS | Starving actors speak out | |
|
| File | Dialog |  | alienprey1.wav
| Jessica: "I saw it I tell you! I saw it, it came from the sky!"
| | alienprey2.wav
| (Gunshot) Joe: "Oh Shit! Shit I missed, I missed, I missed the bloody thing!"
| | alienprey3.wav
| Jessica: "Yes, to the fox! If it wasn't for the fox we wouldn't have anything to celebrate."
| | alienprey4.wav
| Anders: "Kator calling command ship, send advance parties immediately. Have now established humans high in protein...and easy prey."
| |
| | Click for a larger image | IMAGES | Scenes from the movie | |
|
|
|
| | Watch a scene | VIDEO | MPEG video files | |
|
 | alienprey1.mpg
- 2.5m
|
The slow motion "drowning" scene.
(Very painful.)
|
|
| | Leave a comment | EXTRAS | Buy the movie | |
|
|
